If this was real, it was a bittersweet nightmare. I was back in the seminary. People would find out. It was happening again. Iknew better. Guys like Ozrik didn’t look twice at guys like me unless it was to torture and torment them. This was a sick game. A joke. He’d noticed my unfortunate erection and ran with it.
He would tell everyone.
At this rate, Dad would have every right to be concerned for my well-being because, come tomorrow, my secret would be all over Elk City, and I would want nothing more than to crawl into a hole and die.
“Gale?” Ozrik brushed a thumb over my lips. His smile had faded. “Say something.”
A thousand and one comments roller-coastered around my brain, looping and swirling. Colliding. One minute, I was overcome by crippling fear. Next, I yearned to pull him back against my mouth and savor one last taste of the storm. Of his lightning-worthy destruction.
A tsunami of concerns hit me from all sides. I didn’t know how to do this. I didn’t know how to be this person. Exist in this reality. Live this life. Act like it was normal, nothing, and no big deal.
I thought about Dad and Olivia learning the truth. About the hell I’d endured at school and the endless lies I’d told. The taunts and torments. About the unfairness of it all, because I never asked for this.
Why couldn’t I be normal?
Ozrik watched me expectantly. Waiting. So, I said the first thing that came to mind. “I thought you had a crush on Olivia.”
“What?” His face contorted in confusion. “Why would you think that?”
“Because you always… I thought… In the car… Never mind.”
What did it matter?
“Can you please move?” I didn’t want to be this close. He might see the cracks in my skin. The slow eruption in my chest.
Ozrik’s face fell, and for a second, he seemed truly disappointed, but it was my imagination. Disappointment would imply he wanted this, me, but that wasn’t possible.
Ozrik didn’t argue and moved to the other side of the Jeep. Without him looming over me, I felt shamefully exposed. Naked. Raw. The clear impression of my arousal was not hidden under my jeans, and tugging my shirt lower to hide it made no difference. Ozrik knew what his kiss had done. He’d seen it. He’d felt it. In fact, he’d probably kissed me on purpose so he could tease me again.
Humiliation burned me inside out.
I still tasted him on my lips, felt him under my skin, crawling through my veins. Desperate for escape, I fumbled with the door handle and tried to push it open. The wind and gravity pressed back, fighting me tooth and nail.
But the storm was calming, and my determination was such that I fought back, refusing to be bested by a stupid door.
“What are you doing?” Alarm rose in Ozrik’s voice.
I didn’t respond. Shoving with all my might, I managed to open it enough to slip through. The rain continued, but no longer fell in sheets. Thunder rumbled, now miles away.
I crawled up the muddy embankment, slipping more than once, until I reached the road. Soaked and covered in muck, I headed in the direction of the supposed downed tree and power lines. I would find a way around or get electrocuted trying. I didn’t care.
I would walk back to Newton if I had to. Or Elk City.
Farther.
I would walk to the ends of the earth and keep going.
To a place where no one knew me.
“Gale!” Ozrik ran up beside me and grabbed my arm, wrenching me to face him. “Where are you going?”
Rain spattered his face. His hair hung limp, warm brown eyes bleeding concern, but that was probably my imagination too.
“Away.”
“Away? Where?”
“Far away.” I tugged my arm from his grasp.
