“Used to say?”I echoed.
“Turns out, therapists will typically only make appointments with you if you can pay them.”
I stared at him - at his handsome, blank face - for a moment.“Like I said, if you’re looking for sympathy...”
“From you?”Now Flynn seemed genuinely entertained.“Never.”
“Why did you want to meet, then?”
“You mean you’re not enjoying this touching reunion?”
I slapped my mug down, angry.“Okay, fuck this.”I pushed myself up.
Flynn reached out, fingertips just brushing my arm.“Look, I’m sorry, okay, I’m sorry.Just...wait, okay?”
Grudgingly, I sat again.Stared at him, expectant.
“I just wanted to talk.After the holidays.After last night.”
The urge to throw up my hands in exasperation was strong.“But talk about what?”
Flynn’s body language made it seem like he was just as frustrated by the confusion as I was.“Don’t you ever want to reconnect, with where you came from?”
“Some of us never left.”I didn’t even bother trying to hide the bitterness in my voice.
He shook his head.“Yeah, you did.Maybe not physically, but inside, you did.”
“And what am I meant to leave for?”I continued.“You’ve not exactly been making the best pitch, here.All this success just to be so lost in debt, the only way you can get your kicks is by watching strangers nail the guy you love.”
Flynn grimaced.“It’s not like that.”
Part of me wanted to ask just which aspect he was suddenly taking issue with - the debt, or the kink, or the love - only, even by the measure of the topics we’d discussed already, that seemed hopelessly intrusive.
“You could just leave,” I said, instead.
Flynn’s stare was flinty.“So could you.”
Silence, for a moment.Uncomfortable, in the same way that holding a tray full of glassware is uncomfortable.Knowing that the slightest mistake will trigger a chain-reaction there’s no coming back from.
He sighed.“I need to go.William is...”
“You don’t need to explain your relationship to me,” I said, talking over him.
Another slow nod.Flynn stood.
“It was nice to see you, Oli.Dressed and undressed, I mean.”
I watched his back, wrapped in that soft, expensive sweater, as he left.
