It was their face, covered in blood, the teeth bared, and the satisfied look of a hunter having finally captured its prey.
CHAPTER THREE
Alison shifted uncomfortably in her chair as she reread the paragraph on her screen for the third time.She gritted her teeth as she did her utmost to take in the information and not let her mind wander.She even leaned forward in the hope that the information would reach her eyes and, subsequently, her core memory in her brain, being retained this time.
She stopped halfway through the paragraph and picked up a pen from the stationery holder on the back corner of the desk to throw it at the wall to her left.
"Is this a bad time?"
Alison jumped in her chair, more through embarrassment than fear.She looked from the door to where Dr.Victoria Canton stood on the floor to her left, where the pen now resided.A breath caught in her throat as her shoulders jerked, forcing the tears forth.Still, she’d fought back tears constantly over the past couple of weeks, and she did so again, willing herself not to cry.
Alison wiped her eyes with the back of her sleeve."Sorry, I…"
"I know.I completely understand," Victoria said.She gestured at the chair on the opposite side of the desk to Alison."May I?
"Please," Alison said quickly.If she had company, she didn't have to worry about the poor job she was doing at trying to ingest the information she had been tasked with reading and forming an opinion on.
"I wanted to check in on you," Victoria said as she sat.She gave a tight smile before adding, "Again.How are you…?"
Alison laughed through her nose."Whatever do you mean, Victoria?I’m just tossing pens across the room like normal.I’m totally fine."
"Is there anything you need?"Victoria asked gently.
"Yes," Alison replied."But no one can give it to me.I’m sorry, I—"
"Don’t," Victoria warned."You don't need to apologize for what you’re going through.I can't imagine what this is like for you.We’re here if and when you need us, and you are welcome here for as long as you like.You’re the most experienced person in the office, but you’ve been away for almost two years.You’re practically a new hire.I expect the same level of work as an intern."
Alison laughed again, but a hearty one, this time, and she held her smile for the first time in two weeks.
"Two weeks," she shook her head, shaking away the smile."I don't know what I was expecting.It’s been twenty years since my sister was murdered, but two weeks feels like an eternity.I don't know."Another shake of her head."I expected them to have him by now.I didn't think it would last this long.I chased him for twenty-two years, and we let him slip out of our hands.I sat face to face with him, and—"
Alison’s head dropped forward into her hands.No tears came, only the horribly unsettling feeling that they had messed up and wouldn’t ever get him.
When they had gone to talk with Howard Mills, Derek and her father had fingered him as a potential suspect.It wasn't until he made a run for it, pushing Derek down the stairs in the process, that their hunch had been confirmed.For twenty-two years, they had been looking for Howard Mills, and in less than five or six minutes, he'd escaped them and was now on the run.
"They won't let me go anywhere near the case," Alison said, biting her lower lip too hard."I know I can help them if they’ll let me."
"I know," Victoria sympathized."And I know that you know you have to be patient.This is a federal case now.He killed Emma, and I know how much you want to chase after him, but that’s not what you’re good at.You can get into a killer’s mind and perceive what they might do and figure out why they do it.This is a manhunt now.That’s not your expertise."
"I know," Alison moaned."I just feel useless sitting here and not being able to help."
Victoria sighed dramatically."Some intern you’re turning out to be."
Alison smiled."Iamthankful that you let me come back.This was where I learned to be a profiler.This was my home for more than a decade.I felt awful when I took the position full-time with the CBI."
"I know you did," Victoria said with a smirk."I almost said something to you back then to make it even harder for you to leave.It was hard to see you go, but it was where you needed to be.You only have to look at what you accomplished over the last two years to realize that."
"None of that will matter if they don't find Mills," Alison said.Her eyes flickered to the stationary holder on the desk, and she had another urge to toss something.
Victoria tilted her head closely and took a moment before responding."It does matter, and you know it."Her tone was stern.
Alison looked down at the desk.
"You’ve helped more people than most, and saved so many lives.Don't you dare diminish that," Victoria warned.
Alison continued to look down at the desk.She hadn’t felt so scared since she was a child.Or so rebellious.She wanted to complain more about not being able to help pursue Mills or even work the case, but she knew Victoria was right.There were systems in place for a reason, and she would only feel helpless in a completely different location if she were allowed to hope.
"I hoped coming back to work here would take my mind off the case, but I still can't think straight."Alison finally looked up, holding Victoria’s gaze."I’ll be better."
