Finally, he pulls back and looks down at me with so much love and understanding that I can barely stand to keep facing him.
“Let’s get out and go check on the boys.”
The rest of the day passes with snuggles on the couch, Duke ordering us pizza, and a ’90s DreamWorks movie marathon.
At sunset, we go sit outside on the porch while the boysplay in the yard. Duke pours me a glass of my favorite red wine. I haven’t asked him about what he plans to do about my ex, but I know he’s thinking about it every time I catch his face growing pensive.
The boys find a worm in the dirt and beg him to save it so they can go fishing. He finds a Tupperware to keep it in and scoops some dirt up to go with it. I’m not sure how successful a fishing trip will be with one worm, but I can’t help but smile at how attentive and sweet he is with them.
His kitchen has clearly been stocked with kid snacks and drinks, as well as my favorite wine, popcorn, and kettle-cooked barbecue chips that I had no idea he knew were my favorite.
At eight o’clock, he helps me put the boys to bed. After turning out their light, we go into his room together.
I change into another one of his cutoff tees and brush my teeth before climbing into his big bed, sighing contentedly. He slides in next to me, pulling my back up close to his chest.
“Good night,” he whispers.
“Duke.”
“Yes?”
“What are we going to do about him?”
He’s silent for a few moments, so I keep talking.
“I don’t think he’s going to go away. He’s too obsessive. This was … it was a huge blow to his ego. He’ll be back.”
“What makes you so sure?”
“He’s not the type to let something like this go. All he cares about is being right and respect. He thinks I owe him respect over everything. And if I disrespect him, he cares more about that than anything else.” I shudder when I thinkabout what it was like to constantly feel like I had to walk on eggshells in my own home.
It was miserable, like living with a monster who was going to criticize me at every turn and blow up as soon as I made one wrong move.
But the goalpost was always moving. His expectations were unpredictable, so I never knew if I was accidentally pissing him off.
Duke hugs me tighter. “I don’t want you to worry about what he’s going to do or not do anymore. You have me now. You’re not going through this alone.”
I choke back the tears that are threatening to wet my pillow. The room is dark, but I can feel him all over me, rubbing my arm soothingly.
“You don’t know what he’s capable of. He’s a monster. He’ll use the boys to hurt me again. And he’ll never fully lose custody. My uncle abused his wife, tried to kill her, and kidnapped his daughter, and he only got one year in prison before the court granted him weekend visits again. It was an endless nightmare.”
I squeeze his hand harder, trying to keep the panic at bay. I’ve spiraled about the possibilities so many times, but after what happened today, I’m dangerously close to a mental breakdown. I’m in so much pain, my entire body cramping with the anxiety and fear. My throat is sore from where Matt choked me with his forearm.
“He tried to take them once. There’s no telling what he’ll do next,” I half whisper, half sob.
Duke pulls me even closer, pressing his lips up to my ear.
“He’ll never hurt them or you ever again. Try to get some sleep, okay?”
My mind travels back to our conversation in the car, the confession Duke made to me about him and his brothers.
Holy shit.
My boyfriend is going to kill my ex-husband.
35
DUKE
