“How did it happen?”
“Was it good?”
“Is he hung like a horse?”
They start bombarding me with questions at once. I shush them all desperately, not wanting Dayton to overhear.
“First off, I did not initiate it. He did. And I do feel like I will need therapy for being masochistic enough to have sex with someone who hates me.”
“For the record,” Josie interrupts, “I never believed he hated you. Wendy and I have always been convinced he’s secretly in love with you. Cheri told her that years ago.”
I gape at her, struggling to make sense of what she’s saying.
She shrugs. “But continue.”
“Anyway … that’s a whole other can of worms I can’t open right now. He—well, okay, it started when he insisted on staying with me in the studio to check on the house. I sort of accidentally started touching myself while he was sleeping, and then he woke up, and he realized it, and … yeah.”
Their eyes are like saucers, but they’re dialed in. Josie motions for me to continue.
“So, after that, he ended up going”—I lower my voice to a whisper—“down on me.”
Juniper’s eyes nearly bulge out of her head.
“But when we were teens, he would always play that Are You Nervous? game with me, so I just honestly thought he was messing with my head. Until last night, at Chaos. He came up to me, grabbed the back of my neck, and justkissed me. Then we went back to the bungalow, and … yeah. Things escalated from there …”
“I know you’re not about to stop right when we get to thegood stuff,” Josie screeches.
Cal and Dayton both look over at us. Dayton’s eyes roam over me protectively before he turns away.
“What do you want, for me to describe every position?”
“How many times?” Silvie asks.
“Twice.”
“Did you finish?” Josie presses.
I nod, cheeks turning pink. They wait expectantly.
I throw up my hands. “Okay, fine, you wanna hear it? It was the best sex of my life! I’d never come that many times. I hadn’t known sex could be that incredible. He was … fuck, he was so intense.” I shake my head, exhaling slowly. “I just don’t think we can ever go there again.”
Silvie grabs my hand. “Why not? If it was that good, why not keep having some fun?”
“Aside from the obvious?” I start ticking them off on my fingers. “He lives in New York, and I live here. After the house is done, we’re selling it, so he’ll have no reason to visit anymore. He’s still been very rude to me for the past thirteen years. He’s—he’s just not my type at all. Great sex doesn’t mean anything if you don’t have love and affection and kindness in the grand scheme of things. I’m pretty sure he doesn’t like me. I don’t know why he did it, but for me, it was just some twisted trauma response.”
“Trauma response to what?” Juniper asks gently.
“Like the years of bullying, and breaking up with Axel who never wanted me sexually, and all the bickering about the house. I don’t know, just all the shit I’ve been through and me wanting to feel good about myself and desirable for onefreaking night with someone who’s always made me feel terrible about myself.”
I look over at him and see that Dayton is watching me, his expression unreadable. Cal says something, and he nods in response.
“He definitely owes you a huge apology and should begin groveling, like yesterday,” Silvie says.
The other girls nod.
“And with him being a man, I wouldn’t be surprised if he thinks the mind-blowing sex was phase one,” Josie adds.
“Phase one?”
