I stare at him. I've played with Josh Grentley for years. I've seen him block shots with his face, stare down charging forwards, shut out entire offenses without flinching. I have never once heard him volunteer personal information. Not in the locker room, not on road trips, not after wins or losses or anything in between.
He didn’t even talk to us about his divorce. And now he just bared his soul in front of the team and the PAWs.
Ella's eyes are bright. She blinks, swallows, and pops another meatball in her mouth.
I’m about to sit down with her and finally relax when Rookie crosses the room to stand behind Ella. His eyes are red. His hair is worse than usual. Which makes sense since he’s been driving around all day, probably confronting the possibility that he drove his sister away.
Ella turns from the table and looks up at her brother. For once, he doesn’t call her names or say something dumb. He squats down and wraps his arms around her, clinging like tape on the blade of a hockey stick.
Ella's hands come up to his back. She grips his hoodie, and I see her knuckles go white.
"I'm proud of you," Rookie says. His voice is thick and muffled against her hair. "I'm so proud of you, Ell."
She nods against his chest. Doesn't speak. Doesn't need to.
He holds her for a long time. Nobody cracks a joke. Nobody fills the silence. Even Spinner keeps his mouth shut, which might be the most remarkable event of the year. The whole thing, Grentley spewing his soul…Rookie feeling a feeling…it all has me thinking about my shitty dad and his own awful treatment of me. All the people in my life are here doing brave things, being vulnerable with their feelings and holding each other up.
Makes me want to only let in people who do the same to me.
When Rookie releases his sister, he turns and finds me against the wall. We look at each other, and I can see the calculations, the anger still there, but banked, covered by something more urgent. Gratitude, maybe. Or just the recognition that I found his sister when he couldn't.
He crosses to me and puts a hand on my back. Pats once. Firm. The way you'd tap a teammate's helmet after a good shift.
It's not forgiveness. But it's a start.
"Nice shiner," he says.
"You should see the other guy.”
His mouth twitches. Almost a smile. Not quite. He drops his hand and walks to the table, where Gianna is already setting a plate in front of the empty seat she kept for him.
I lean against the wall and watch the Rujkowski siblings eat meatballs across from each other, and I know they’re going to be okay. I soak it all in and think about what I can change, too. Other than being more open with the woman I love.
Ella’s hand reaches for the empty place beside her on the bench and glances up at me. My body and all my instincts scream at me to join her, to sit beside her, drape an arm over her shoulder. But I don’t want to take away from her celebration here by stirring up more shit with her brother before we’ve had a chance to talk things out.
I hesitate while she continues to glance over at me, at the space beside her. And finally, Rookie groans and stares at the ceiling. “Just fucking sit with my sister, Howie.”
Chapter 25
Ella
Bernard slides onto the bench beside me, and his thigh presses against mine, and I feel my brother's eyes track the shift in Bernard’s body. But Jason doesn't say anything. He eats a Mercy Ball and stares at the table, and I see him working through something, the gears turning behind his bloodshot eyes.
The party continues around us — Aarthi is deep in conversation with Essence about healthcare policy, Gianna keeps bringing food — but our corner of the table has gone quiet. The three of us in our own pocket of gravity.
"So," Jason says.
"So," I say.
Bernard says nothing.
Jason pushes a meatball around his plate. "How long has this been going on for real?”
I glance at Bernard. He gives me the smallest nod. My story to tell.
"Since a few weeks after I moved in." I don't offer details. Jason doesn't need a timeline of sexual milestones. "It started as something … casual. And then it wasn't."
Jason looks at Bernard. “You tried casual with my sister?”
