I open my mouth, and nothing comes out.
"We have some options for you." Monique slides a printout across the desk. "There's an opening on the med-surg unit. Day shift, excellent mentorship. It's a competitive placement, and frankly, it's unusual to offer it to a new grad."
I look at the printout. Steady hours. Normal schedule. Patients who are stable.
"Or," Susan says, leaning against the doorframe with her arms crossed, "you stay with me in the ER."
I look at Susan, who raises an eyebrow. I think about the kid with internal bleeding. The quarter swallower. The panic attack woman I sat with and made laugh. The sound of the trauma bay when everything is moving fast, and my hands are steady, and my mind is clear.
"ER," I say.
Susan grins. "That's my girl."
Monique makes a note in the folder and smiles again. “An excellent choice. Congratulations, Ella. Please remember to negotiate with me regarding this signing bonus.”
She slides a piece of paper across the desk and looks at me expectantly.
Susan chuckles behind me, coughing the word “double” into her fist.
I glance at the number, a big one, and laugh uncomfortably. “Um, I guess …I was expecting double that number.”
Monique purses her lips, and I cannot tell what she is thinking. Did I just cost myself the job? Am I so unprepared for this? But Monique taps the desk. “We are prepared to offer fifty percent more.”
A puff of air escapes my mouth, which is good because it masks the scream I’m trying to stifle. I will have actual money now to get my own place to live, a paycheck to chip away at my student loans.
"Thank you." My voice sounds strange to me. Thick. "Thank you both."
Monique has already moved on to other work, typing furiously as she nods. Susan takes my arm and guides me into the hallway, where she gives me a squeeze. “I knew it, honey. You’re a natural.”
My body swirls with emotions I can’t name. Relief? Excitement? Could this be what pride feels like? I feel an overwhelming pull to call Bernard.
But I meet Susan’s gaze and admit to her, "You scared me with that voicemail."
"I scared you?" She laughs. "I was trying to be professional. Believe me, I wanted to call you screaming."
I laugh, and it shakes loose something that's been lodged in my windpipe since yesterday. Maybe longer.
"One more thing," Susan says, adjusting her glasses. "Now that you're permanent staff, I expect you to get me into a Fury game. Your brother gets good seats, right?”
"I'll see what I can do."
She pats my back and heads toward the elevator. I stand in the hallway for a minute. The fluorescent lights buzz. A janitor pushes a mop cart past me. Somewhere below, the ER is humming along without me, handling whatever Pittsburgh throws at it, and tomorrow I'll be down there as a real RN.
I take the skybridge back to the garage. Bernard's G-Wagon sits right where I left it, heat shimmering from the engine in the cold air. I open the door and climb in.
He turns to me, face steady in anticipation.
"I passed."
His eyes brighten. "Of course you did."
"They offered me a permanent job and…a bonus.”
"Ella." He reaches across the console and cups the back of my neck and pulls me toward him and kisses my forehead, my cheek, my mouth. "Of course they did."
"You don't seem surprised."
"I'm not." He releases me, turns on the engine, puts the car in gear, and pulls out of the spot. "I was so sure of it that I already called your friends. Aarthi and McKenzie are meeting us at Gianna's."
