Then he stands, drops cash on the table, and leaves without a word.
Chapter 17
Ella
I’m a person who has sex. Lots of sex.
Except it’s all been with someone I should not bang.
Last night, I thought the world was going to swallow me whole when Bernard kissed me not only in front of my brother but with half his teammates there to witness. I got the sense that some of the guys knew more than they let on when they jumped in with explanations, but Jason eventually seemed to buy the fact that Bernard was drunk, and apparently gets real affectionate when he hits the sauce.
I lie still for a minute, alone in Bernard’s bed, staring at the closet where my clothes now hang beside his. The drawer he cleared for me is full. My shoes are lined up next to his. From this angle, the room looks like two people live in it, which is a problem because only one of us is supposed to.
I shower, dress, and emerge to find Jason at the kitchen counter shoveling eggs into his mouth while scrolling his phone. Bernard is on the couch with his knee elevated, watching highlights. They look like two guys sharing an apartment. Normal. Fine.
I’m back to being an intruder in their bachelor lives.
Bernard glances at me when I enter the kitchen. Nothing on his face but casual friendliness. "Morning."
"Morning." I pour coffee and sit on the stool, and … we are two people who had sex in every room of this apartment and are now performing polite distance over mugs of French roast.
Jason talks about today's practice schedule. I nod, eat a banana, and feel Bernard's presence in the room like a frequency only I can hear.
I leave for my shift without touching him. Without looking at him longer than a roommate would. I walk to the elevator with my jaw clenched and my chest tight, and I think: this is how it has to be.
* * *
The texting starts at noon.
Bernard
This couch is a crime against humanity.
Bernard
It's a $10,000 torture device, and it smells like my sadness.
Me
Dramatic much?
Bernard
I woke up at 3 am and almost walked to the bedroom.
I stare at that message. My thumb hovers. I type and delete three responses before settling on:
Me
We need to talk about rules.
Bernard
I know.
Me
Tonight? When Jason goes to sleep?
