Paul didn’t like that and pushed harder. “But we have repeatedly told you that there has been no series of small leaks.”
Luca looked down at his notes, even though it was clear that he wouldn’t find his rebuttal there. “I can only speak to the data,” he said plainly.
“Well,” said Paul with a bitter laugh, “your data is wrong.”
I couldn’t believe Paul was trying to discredit Luca, especially in front of so many people. I wanted Luca to fight back, but that wasn’t his style, so before I could think too much about what I was doing, I shot my hand in the air. Even Bruno seemed surprised, but he called on me right away.
I stood and thanked Luca for the presentation, said something about it beinginformativo, a word I’d never used that was thankfully close to its English equivalent. I was stalling, uncertain what to ask but certain that I wanted—needed—to show Luca and Bruno and even Teo that Paul and I weren’t the same and that he didn’t speak for me.
“Mi chiedo,” I said, then paused, trying to think of the words. I could feel all the eyes in the room on me, Paul’s in particular. “Puoi rispondere alla domanda sull’emivita? Per quanto tempo potremmo aspettarci che questi radionuclidi rimangano nell’ambiente?”
Luca liked the question, I could tell by the way he grinned at his notes, and Teo gave me another tiny nudge. I had asked whether Luca could speak to the question of half-lives and how long we might expect these radionuclides to remain in the environment. I thought it was a reasonable question and one that would help him regain his footing.
This is exactly what happened. Luca thanked me for the question, then explained what a half-life was for anyone in the audience who didn’t already know. “With manganese-54, we’re looking at a half-life of three hundred and twelve days, so the archipelago has the opportunity to improve its position relatively quickly. But with cobalt-60, it’s a different story,” he said, grimly. “Its half-life is five point two seven years.”
There were audible gasps in the room, and a woman asked how long it would take to stop seeing cobalt-60 in the water if the U.S. Navy departed immediately.
Luca clarified. “You mean to where cobalt-60 was completely undetectable?”
“Yes,” said the woman.
He did the calculation in his head. “About nineteen years.”
The room fell silent, so silent that I could hear Paul breathing. Luca didn’t want to end on a downbeat note, so he outlined the team’s next steps,including their hope that they’d soon acquire a research vessel and one day establish a real lab in La Maddalena. By the time he’d sketched out his vision for continuous water testing on the island, people in the audience were nodding, and when he finished speaking, he received a round of riotous applause.
I was so pleased for him, but I could tell Paul was furious, which dampened my excitement. While the people around us began to stand and gather their things, he leaned over and hissed in my ear, “What the hell was that?”
100.
PAUL KEPT IT TOGETHERin front of Teo and left with Daniel Bornemann, who had slipped into the room in the middle of the presentation. After they were gone, I congratulated Luca and stood chatting with Bruno and Teo for a few minutes, but I soon took myself home, where I spent the afternoon spiraling.
I didn’t know why I’d felt the need to defend Luca and Bruno’s research program. I mean, I did know why, but that didn’t excuse my behavior. My loyalty was to Paul, and when I’d asked that question, I had known there was a chance it might get back to Paul’s boss or his boss’s boss or—God forbid—the CO. It had been reckless, and Paul had every right to be angry with me.
When I picked him up at the pier that evening, he gave me the silent treatment, but after I asked how the rest of his day had gone, he unleashed on me.
“Can we cut the crap?” he said.
This felt deserved.
“What in the hell is going on with you?” Paul asked, slamming his hand against the glove box.
I jumped.
“Going to fucking ecology conferences like you know what you’re talking about.”
“It was open to the public,” I said quietly.
“It’s strange. I didn’t see any of the other guys’ wives there.”
I didn’t say anything, just put on my blinker and turned onto the Via Ammiraglio Carlo Mirabello.
“And what the fuck was that question you asked?Can you speak to the question of half-lives?” he said in the same obnoxious voice I used to use as a kid when I was mimicking Lenny.
“It was a reasonable question,” I whispered.
Now he repeated what I’d just said, in that same awful voice.“It was a reasonable question.”
I wanted to cry, but I didn’t dare.
