Paul laughed. “It’s going to affect more than that.”
“What do you mean?”
“I got called to captain’s mast this morning.”
I didn’t know much about the navy, but I knew that was bad. “What happened?”
“Wilkinson gave me a letter of reprimand.”
“For what, specifically?”
“Dereliction of duty. And failure to follow orders.”
It sounded pretty bad when he said it like that.
“The worst part was that he made the proceedings public. Did it on the mess deck, with everybody watching.”
“That’s awful.”
“Yeah,” he agreed.
“I guess the silver lining is you’re not out?”
He let out a bitter laugh. “It goes in my permanent record, so I might as well be.”
“But you’ll still go to New London?”
“Yeah, I’ll go. I have to. But it’s going to be a waste of time.”
“Can you appeal?”
“I will, I’m sure. But it’s a pretty fair punishment, all things considered.”
“I’m so sorry,” I said, and while I was talking about the demise of his naval career, I was also talking about my own actions, which had so clearly contributed to everything that came after.
“It’s not your fault,” he said.
“I know how much you wanted to command a sub.”
He didn’t say anything, just studied his hands, which were folded in front of him. “You know what’s funny?”
“What?”
“I actually didn’t want subs. Not in the beginning, anyway.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“It’s true. I didn’t even want to join the navy.”
“You love the navy,” I argued.
“I learned to love it,” he said. “But the whole reason I went to the academy was because I was terrified of getting killed in Vietnam.”
At the mention of Vietnam, my breath caught in my throat.
“I saw what was happening to boys like your brother, and I couldn’t imagine being brave enough to bushwhack my way through some jungle full of bombs and booby traps.”
Itwasbrave, what Lenny had done. And I didn’t think I’d ever heard Paul say so.
