‘She’s not going to stop,’ Lipi says with a tired exhale. ‘So you may as well just tell us.’
‘Fine, fine!’ I press my palms against my thighs, trying to ground myself. ‘Maybe I’m overthinking, but I feel like myfriendship with you both isn’t as strong as the friendship you guys have with each other.’
‘Well, that’s ridiculous,’ Shirin says automatically.
‘Shirin, don’t dismiss Poppy’s feelings!’ Lipi scolds.
‘But it is! Why in the world would you think that?’
I bite my lip as I gather the courage to lay out the facts. ‘It’s just .?.?. usually, even if we’re only talking to one person in the chat, we put messages there anyway. And you guys having this whole discussion about why I needed to get out of my house, outside the chat, makes me feel like this isn’t the first time you’ve done it.’
‘We just didn’t want to fill up the chat with unnecessary talk, especially because it didn’t seem like you’d benefit from Shirin’s nonsense.’
‘Oh my God, it’s not nonsense, Lipi!’ Shirin huffs. ‘But Lipi’s right about clogging up the chat when you’re going through something.’
It’s nice of them to consider me like that, but still. I want to be included in their conversations. I want to know what they’re thinking. I want to feel like I’m not being ousted.
‘That’s fair but I guess .?.?.’ I inhale deeply, my heart in my throat. It’s been a day of honesty – I might as well continue. ‘I just feel like, especially with working at Eternally Yours this summer, I’m so out of the loop with you guys. Like there’s stuff I’m missing out on. Like, when we went shopping at Cribbs and Lipi, you made a throwaway comment about Shirin being delusional all week about Pickleball Boy, and I don’t know .?.?. I guess I just didn’t feel like I was included, you know? And I know it’s natural that you guys chat at work, but I feel like I’m watching you from afar when all I really want is to be with you. Having to miss dawats with you guys because of the family fallout these past couple of months has sucked too.’ I feel tears well in my eyes. ‘I guess I just miss you both.’
‘Oh dude,’ Shirin says at the same time as Lipi throws her arms around me, squeezing me into a hug that makes me break into a sob. ‘We miss you too.’
‘You do?’
‘Of course,’ Lipi says, her head resting on my shoulder. ‘Do you know how often we talk about you at work? The answer isallthe time.’
‘She’s not even exaggerating,’ Shirin adds. ‘There have been so many instances where it’s felt wrong not having you with us or when I’ve felt jealous of Salman for getting to spend his days with you. Ugh. I never thought I’d be jealous of a boy, but I am.’ Shirin sticks her tongue out in disgust. ‘But we know why you’re at Eternally Yours, and although it sucked not to have you with us this summer, we know it’s all worth it.’
I nod, feeling a little better hearing them say all these things. ‘It’s hard not to be in my head, but I appreciate you guys.’
‘Well, tell whoever is running the control centre in your brain to shut up,’ Shirin says, nudging my shoulder with hers. ‘Even when we’re old and wrinkly at the retirement home, we’ll be together. Actually, someone write down that we need to ask for a triple room because there’s nobody else I’d want around when I’m having my bum wiped.’
‘Shirin!’ Lipi and I groan, the image sweet and gross at the same time.
‘What? It’s true! And don’t forget, we’re all getting matching chilli tattoos on our wrists as soon as we turn eighteen. Once we’re inked, there’s no breaking up our friendship. Ever.’
Lipi sits up and faces me, her eyes glassy with emotion. ‘We love you, Poppy, and we never want you to feel like we don’t want you to be our friend. Weneedyou. Without you, we’re not a shape. We’re just a line.’
Even though Lipi is being earnest and so serious, Shirin and I can’t help bursting into laughter.
‘Always philosophical, our Lipi,’ Shirin teases.
‘Also, the whole sharing us like we’re children of divorce because of the break-up?’ Shirin adds. ‘That’s not going to be a problem if whatever happened between you and Salman earlier today was a good thing. Was it a good thing? Can we circle back to this now? Please tell me it was a good thing. I want to be nauseated, but in a good way.’
‘Yes, please, can we have a full debrief? Strangely, the cards gave me no indication of anything happening with a lover.’
I don’t stop the belly laugh that escapes me at my friends’ curiosity, even though it makes my body hurt. I wipe away the tears from my cheeks. ‘Well, if you must know, Salman and I kissed this morning. At the botanic garden.’
Immediately they share a glance, wondering if they’ve heard me right.
‘I’m sorry, what?!’ they shout at me.
I can’t stop the grin that breaks across my face. ‘Oh yeah, maybe I should have led with that? Though in my defence the Ma thing should take precedence –’
Shirin slaps me in the face with her pillow, and I don’t even try to argue with her. I deserved that one.
‘How could you keep this tea from us? Spill, everything!’
And I do.
