No, it’s not. ‘I want her to be happy. I want to know that she has someone to take care of her the way she’s taken care of everyone else. She deserves it. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.’
‘Andthat’swhy you took this job. Not because you’re selfish and want to pawn her off before you go galivanting all over Scotland.’
‘But I owe it to her to stick around, don’t I?’ My eyes sting with tears as soon as I say the words. Words I’ve kept chained deep within my heart, afraid to say them out loud.
‘You don’t owe her anything. She wouldn’t want you to feel that way,’ Salman says simply.
‘But I’m her only child. I’m all she’s got left.’ Tears are flowing down my cheeks, and even though I dab them away, they keep coming.
‘That’s not how it works, Poppy. She’s not a bank you’ve taken a loan from. There’s no interest to repay here.’
‘I know, but .?.?.’
‘No, Poppy. You don’t owe your mum blind loyalty for having given birth to you,’ he says, and there’s an undercurrent of irritation there. Though I can’t tell if it’s aimed at me or himself. ‘You deserve to be your own person and do whatyouneed to do.’
I know he’s right. I know Ma doesn’t look at me and secretly believe that I should stay put in Bristol. She knows how long I’ve dreamed of Edinburgh and has always encouraged me to apply there, knowing it’s a place where I can feel close to Baba.
Still, I can’t let go of the guilt that comes with the thought of leaving Ma behind.
I’m wiping away the last of my tears when Akash and Samirafinally walk towards the cabin, laughing. Samira is holding Akash by the elbow and he can’t tear his eyes away from her.
‘Oh my God, they’re back,’ I whisper to Salman, barely able to believe it.
‘There was no doubt they would be,’ he says with a look in his eyes that I don’t have time to read before he looks back at Akash and Samira.
‘Sorry we’re a bit late,’ Samira says as they stop in front of us. ‘We lost track of time doing the questions and this one –’ she looks pointedly at Akash, like they’re sharing an inside joke – ‘had the great idea to go off trail for a bit. Seems he’s not one for schedules.’
‘It was agreatidea,’ he says with a large smile, all of his teeth showing. ‘We wouldn’t have seen Bambi if we hadn’t gone on the side quest!’
‘I think Bambi would have turned up one way or another,’ Samira teases. I feel myself relax at the easy dynamic between them. They seem to have really hit it off. ‘But yes, going off the trail for a bit did show me what Akash is like.’
‘Look, I’m directionally challenged. It’s a flaw.’ Akash playfully shrugs. ‘Butat least I’m aware of it rather than pretending I can get us from A to B without any problems.’
‘I’ll give you that.’ When Samira looks at Akash, her eyes are sparkling. ‘Lucky you had me or you’d be wandering the woods all afternoon, huh?’
‘Sometimes all you need to do is go off track to get back on track again, am I right?’ Salman says before glancing at me with an ‘I told you so’ look. ‘But since we are slightly behind schedule we’re going to reshuffle things, if that’s OK with you guys.’
Even though I’m supposed to lead on the events side, I’m grateful that Salman is taking charge. I feel like my nervous system is just about regulating itself, my anxiety about where Akash and Samira have been finally dispersing, and I need amoment to breathe.
‘I’ll make a small campfire so you guys can keep chatting. The guitarist should be here any moment now. After they’re gone, we’ll get on to the dinner portion of the date. Does that sound good?’
‘Perfect,’ Akash says as Samira snuggles closer to him.
While Salman works on the fire, I take Akash and Samira’s reusable cups and head inside the cabin to fill them back up. It’s not long before the guitarist shows up and the fire is blazing. I take a seat on the steps of the cabin while Salman takes photos of Akash and Samira from afar. He crouches down low in a shaded area, and I snort with laughter. He looks ridiculous, almost like he’s blending in with the woodland itself, thanks to the forest-green fleece he’s wearing, but it’s endearing all the same. I know how much he loves photography and it’s nice to see him in his element, the way his forehead crinkles with lines as he assesses the photos on his screen.
He comes back after some time and joins me on the steps.
‘Get some good pictures?’ I ask.
‘Have a look for yourself,’ he tells me, handing me the camera. I slowly go through the pictures, unable to contain my amazement.
Somehow, Salman has managed to capture the essence of Samira and Akash’s chemistry through the lens. They’re sitting on the logs, Akash mid-sentence, Samira mid-laugh. The soft lighting perfectly highlights them against the blurred forest behind them, making the scene look ethereal.
In the next photo, Akash is looking deep into Samira’s eyes and her lips are parted in anticipation. I feel chills running through my body.
I press the button again and see them leaning in towards another, the electricity between them sizzling through the screen.
Salman’s skill shines through. These photos are so much better than the ones he used to take on his phone.
