1
‘I hate it,’ I whine. ‘So much. I didn’t even know it was possible to hate something this much. Especially sinceIbought it.’
‘You look beautiful, Poppy,’ Ma says at the same time as I chuck another top onto the growing pile of clothes that are OK but not perfect for my first day at my summer job tomorrow.
What do you even wear to an office? I know what to wear to a music festival or a gig at SWX, but an office? That’s not really my style.
‘Ugh, nothing works,’ I say as I rifle through my wardrobe, sliding hangers to the right after giving them a quick once-over. ‘Offices are so stuffy, and I bet they’ll all dress really blandly. I’m not sure they’d appreciate my cut-up band T-shirts.’
‘Beta, you’re young. I don’t think anybody expects you to come in wearing a pantsuit,’ Ma says before she stands up and takes over, swiping through the hangers.
‘I know, but still.’ I sigh as I take a seat on the edge of my bed. I feel overwhelmed with indecision, the importance of making a good impression on my first day weighing heavy on me. ‘And I definitely don’t want to wear my college shirt and trousers. The one good thing about summer is getting out of those godforsaken clothes. I swear, the fabric exacerbates my psoriasis.’
‘I told you to use the lotion from Boots. It’s supposed to reduce the itching and scaling. Have you not been using it?’
‘Now is not the time, Ma,’ I groan.
‘Here, try this.’ Ma holds out a top and a skirt that I’m sure I’ve not seen in at least a year. I need to head into the town centre and get some new clothes, stat. But for now, I’ll have to give these a go.
Ma turns around, allowing me some privacy, and busies herself with putting away my discarded clothes. I take off my pyjamas and slip into a plain white T-shirt that I tuck into the waistband of a floral-patterned black midi skirt, pairing it with some chunky gladiator sandals. I walk over to the mirror that hangs on the back of my door and inspect myself.
‘Not bad,’ I tell my reflection. With some jewellery and my hair down, this outfit might actually be quite decent. I could very well play the part of someone who knows exactly what they’re doing. I tick off ‘first day’ outfit from my mental checklist of things to do, feeling my nerves soothe instantly at having completed something. There’s still a number of other things I need to do to prepare for tomorrow – tame my mane, figure out what time I need to catch the bus, make sure I’m tucked into bed by 10 p.m. latest – but I still find it calming to have at least one item complete with several hours to spare.
‘Oh, Poppy.’ Ma turns around and looks at me with teary eyes. I half-expect her to take a picture of me like she does every year on the first day of school, complete with a sign readingPoppy’s First Day at Eternally Yours. ‘You look so beautiful. My baby girl is getting so mature.’
‘Stop it, Ma,’ I groan. ‘You’re gonna make me overthink it, and that’s the last thing I need.’
Ma holds her hands up in surrender and returns to tidying my room while I change back into my pyjamas now that I’ve decided what to wear tomorrow.
‘I just don’t understand why you suddenly decided not to join Shirin and Lipi at SWX,’ she says after I pull my head through the pyjama top. ‘I thought you were looking forward to spendingthe summer with your friends.’
‘It was just too good an opportunity to turn down,’ I tell Ma, hoping she doesn’t see past the lie, because she’s right. Iwouldmuch rather spend the summer with my best friends at our favourite place in the world. To be honest, that was the plan in the first place. Not that she can ever know that. ‘But SWX is unpaid. So I’d be working for free which, in this economy, is not happening.’
‘Because you have so many bills to pay?’ Ma teases.
‘Obviously. The tax especially is the most ridiculous. I mean, there’s this monthly levy I pay, the “perfect daughter” tax? I really think it should be struck through. And don’t even get me started on the “cup of tea” interest. That one’s a real doozy. No matter how many cups I make, it’s never enough!’
Ma rolls her eyes with a small grin. ‘Hey, leave the chai alone!’
‘I wouldn’t dare take that away from you. I know how cranky you get if you don’t have your chai. Speaking of, shall we go down and have a cuppa?’
‘Don’t distract me, Poppy.’ Ma looks concerned. ‘Is this job really what you want?’
I don’t know what I want, which is part of the problem. I’ve never been the type of person to hyper-fixate or have a passion for anything. Shirin has loved music from the moment she picked up a guitar and Lipi has been obsessed with tarot since she found a deck in her attic, but I’ve never had anything like that. I’ve tried various after-school clubs, but nothing’s spoken to me the way I know it has for my friends. And I kind of hate that Ma knows this about me. Though I suppose it’s inevitable that we’re as close as we are, considering everything.
I glance at the framed picture of Baba, me and Ma that hangs above my desk. It was taken only a few weeks before he died. It’s been nearly three years since he went for a run in the park and never came home; his heart gave up on him despite his goodhealth.
Since then, it’s just been me and Ma. We’ve leaned on one another, cried about the injustice of losing Baba when he had so much life left in him, and navigated being a family of two.
She’s told me her every thought, her every secret, and vice versa.
Well,almosteverything.
‘I just thought I’d give it a shot. Better than doing spreadsheets at SWX and potentially ruining the magic of that place,’ I say finally.
‘You know you don’t have to work,’ Ma continues. ‘You can just be a teenager and laze around the house.’
‘Do you realise you’re the one parent in the worldencouragingtheir child to rot on the sofa all summer?’ I joke.
