But lately, with Ava, everything had started to shift. I’d catch myself watching her face not to gauge her pleasure but just tolookat her. I’d find myself slowing down not to tease but because I wanted to make it last. I’d started noticing things that had nothing to do with sex—the way she scrunched her nose when she was thinking, the specific pitch of her laugh when something genuinely surprised her, the way she said my name.
I needed to get my head back on straight. And maybe if I was in control tonight, I could remember how this was supposed to work. I could put all these inconvenient feelings back in their box where they belonged.
The barn door creaked open and Ava slipped inside, her face breaking into a smile when she spotted me.
“You’re early,” she said, pulling the door closed behind her. “Who are you and what have you done with Liam Farrell?”
“Maybe I was just impatient to see you.”
The words came out more honest than I’d intended, and I watched her eyebrows lift in surprise. I covered it with a smirk.
“Or maybe I wanted to set the mood.” I gestured at the battery-powered candles I’d brought—no way was I tempting fate with the real thing in a barn as old as this—and the blankets spread out with the rope coiled neatly on top. “What do you think?”
She walked toward me slowly, her gaze taking in the scene. When she spotted the rope, her breath caught audibly.
“Is that for…?”
“Bondage. Sensory deprivation.” I picked upthe blindfold, letting the silk slide through my fingers. “Thought we could check another item off your list.”
“Tonight?”
“Unless you’d rather do something else.”
She shook her head, her eyes still fixed on the rope. “No, I…I want to. I’ve been curious about that one.”
“Curious is good.” I closed the distance between us, tilting her chin up with one finger. “But I need you to trust me. Can you do that?”
“I trust you, Liam.” No hesitation.
And fuck if that didn’t mess me up too.
She trusted me. And I was using that trust to claw back some sense of control because I couldn’t handle what was happening inside my own head.
But I didn’t stop. Couldn’t stop.
“You sure your parents are asleep?” She nodded. “Good. Take off your clothes,” I said, stepping back to give her space. “Then lie down on the blankets.”
She undressed slowly, watching me watch her. When she was bare, she lowered herself onto the blankets and stretched her arms above her head without being asked.
Fucking hell. She was perfect. And the fact that she was giving herself to me like this—no reservations, no demands—made me feel like I was standing at the edge of a cliff with nothing but air beneath my feet.
I knelt beside her and picked up the rope. “I’m going to tie your wrists to that ring on the wall. It’ll hold you in place but it won’t hurt. Tell me if it’s too tight.”
She nodded, and I got to work.
The rope was soft, and I made sure the knots were secure but not punishing. I’d practiced this because I wanted to make sure I did it right. I wanted her to feel restrained, not trapped. When I finished, I checked thetension and slipped two fingers between the rope and her wrists to confirm she had circulation.
“Good?”
“Good,” she breathed.
I reached for the blindfold, letting the silk trail across her collarbone before bringing it up to her eyes. “Once this goes on, you won’t know where I’m going to touch you next.” I paused, the fabric hovering. “You sure?”
“Yes.”
I slid the blindfold into place and tightened it slightly so it wouldn’t slip right off.
And then I stepped back and just looked at her.
