Hannah
Somehow, I’ve completely lost all sense of modesty.I just don’t care that my sister, my husband, and Charlene have seen me completely naked.I don’t care that my husband gave me a sponge bath.Nor do I care that I’m lying in bed, wearing nothing but giant panties with a thick pad in them.
Putting on a shirt is a waste of time.I would just need to take it off every few hours anyway.I don’t have the energy right now.
Everyone helped me move to the other side of the bed so they could work to change the sheets.Now I’m nestled in a pile of pillows, the baby in the crook of my arms.
She’s sucking so hard on my nipple that it hurts, but I don’t care.All I care about is that we’re both alive, which is not something I imagined.
Aaric is propped up beside me, leaning on his side, watching.He’s been smiling for hours.“She’s so beautiful, honey, and so are you.I’m so proud of you.”
I beam at him because I’m also proud of myself.I had no idea I was capable of what I did.Although, to be reasonable, I had no other option.It’s not like I could have decided not to give birth.The baby mostly came out on her own.All I did was sort of push.
“Have you thought about what you want to name her?”Aaric asks.
I stare down at her tiny fingers.I can’t stop touching them.I love how she grips my finger when I set it on her palm.I haven’t thought of names.I hadn’t considered keeping her until about a day ago.But suddenly, it comes to me.“Eve.Eve Naomi.After my mama and yours.”
Aaric reaches out and touches my cheek.His voice is husky when he responds.“I love that, honey.Eve Naomi Gallant.”He scoots closer and kisses the top of Eve’s head before kissing my temple.
“I don’t know anything about babies,” I mutter.
“You’re doing a great job.It’s instinctive.”He strokes her tiny cheek next to my breast while she suckles.“I’m going to go rummage through the boxes in the living room and find the bassinet.Will you be okay for a few minutes?”
“Yes.”
He sets a thermal water bottle next to my hip.“Make sure you drink enough.You have to stay hydrated while nursing.”
“Okay.”I pick it up and take a sip, watching my husband stride from the room.
How did I get so lucky?It’s like all my life I’ve been dealt nothing but shit, and suddenly in forty-eight hours I’ve won the lottery.I have everything I could ever want.
I watch in awe as Aaric returns with a large box.He sits at the foot of the bed and opens it.Before I know it, he has attached the most modern bassinet I’ve ever seen to the side of the bed.It becomes an extension of the bed so Eve can sleep right next to me.
My husband is so thoughtful that he even did a load of laundry in the last few hours so there would be clean baby clothes, tiny soft blankets, and bedding.He sets it all up for me.
We haven’t put any clothes on Eve yet.She’s wearing nothing but a disposable diaper and a blanket.I giggled when Aaric attempted to use some internet instructions to swaddle her because, two seconds later, she wiggled her arms free and seemed to glare at him.
Aaric holds up the yellow nightie I held two nights ago.“It looked so tiny the other day.Now I think it will swallow her whole,” he teases.
I giggle.“She’ll grow into it.She’s notthatsmall.”Charlene weighed her.She was six pounds two ounces.Apparently, that’s just fine.
When she’s full, she releases my nipple with a pop.
“Ouch.”I cringe.It hurts when she sucks on my breast.The midwife said that was normal.It will stop hurting in a few days.She gave Aaric about ten instructions on what to expect and how to care for my breasts.
I probably should have been embarrassed, but I couldn’t find the will then, and I still can’t now.My boobs are now a food source.He’s going to see them all the time.I’m over it.Sort of.
As for the rest of my body—especially the part between my legs—I blushed as Charlene told him how much blood to expect in the coming days, how sore I’ll be, and what signs he should watch for that would necessitate a trip to the hospital.
She also warned him about post-partum depression, which I know nothing about, but my husband took every word seriously.
I’m exhausted.It’s finally all catching up with me.My arms are shaking.
“Do you want me to take Eve, honey?”
I nod and hold her up for Aaric.
He gently supports her head and lifts her into his arms.She’s making the sweetest cooing sounds, and his face lights up when he snuggles her into his chest.“What a pretty girl you are,” he whispers.“You look just like your mama.You’re going to be a fighter, too, aren’t you?”
