I don’t know what I want. That’s why I’m asking him for space, but I know it’s hurting him. I turn away, facing the tall mountains I woke up to every morning. A beautiful view that always took my breath away.
I want him. I want him so dangerously and toxic that ignoring what he did to get me here is knocking on my door, but if I cave in, it won’t be fair to him or me.
“We can be friends. Come see me sometime?”
“I’m not your fucking friend. I’ll always be greedy over you.”
“Gavin.” I breathe brokenheartedly.
“The city life isn’t for me. This is my home. Alone. Cold. And barren. This is what I’m used to.” He raises both arms, insinuating the cabin. His glassy eyes become more textured. He forces a pretend smile.
“Are you going back to him?”
My mouth gapes open. I turn to him, appalled.
“What?”
“Liam.”
“No.Hell no.”
A possessive edge flashes across his strained face.
“I should have warned you how greedy I can be, but I’ll do that now.” He takes another drag of his cigarette. Eyes glimmering with possessiveness. “If you let another man touch you, Coraline, I will know, and I will break his hands. If you let another man kiss you, I will cut off his tongue. If you let himhave you—what I’ve licked and worshipped, I’ll destroy him.” The muscle in his jaw tightens.
I know he’ll do it.
“Please. I beg of you. Let me go.”
“I can’t. I won’t. You’re mine. You’ll always be mine.You’ve always been mine. Even if you’re old and grey, married to another man, living halfway across the world, past a different ocean. Even if we don’t speak another word to each other in this lifetime, you’ll always be the one who gives me hope.”
My throat tightens. No one has ever said words like this to me before. No one has made me laugh, smile, or feel peace like I do when I’m with him. But the tiny voice in my head tells me that he’ll get bored. He’ll get bored and see what Liam did and walk away like I was never anything.
“Do you know what it’s like to watch your family be ripped apart in front of you?” his voice trembles.
“Do you know what it’s like to watch the only family you have left die in front of you?Twice?” he roars.
His mother and now Merelyn.
Quivering, I look away.
I’m a coward.
“What if I told you that when I look at you, it feels like home?”
I shut my lids tight. I can’t look at him as he falls apart.
“I’m terrified,” I whisper. “I’m scared. I’m cautious! I’m petrified that the man I spent these past few weeks with doesn’t see anything wrong with what he did. It almost got me killed.”
The car crash. The GPS.
I open the front porch door and close it for the last time. The familiar bells chime as the cold wind blows.
Without looking at him, I mutter, “Don’t follow me. Don’t stalk me. Don’t look for me.”
CHAPTER 36
GAVIN
