I ponder as I turn onto the road that leads to my tiny apartment on the outskirts of San Antonio, a Southern Texas City, where it’s mostly always hot.
I do like to travel. I’ve never heard of Sleepy Coldwater, but it intrigues me. Discovering new places, food, and people gives the introvert in me an anxiety attack, but maybe pushing myself to break my shell will help me grow out of it.
“How amazing is the view?”
I openthe door after a movie-and-dinner date with a guy I met on a dating app. As soon as I enter my living room, I slip off my black heels one by one and sigh.
The date went perfectly, and he almost kissed me. When he dipped forward with closed eyes and puckered lips on my front porch, I almost jumped away from him. I’m not ready. I turned my head and sprinted inside my house. I want to take things slower. I don’t want to rush into anything right now. It’s hard for me to commit to someone after recent events. The last man I was with took pieces of me, and I’m not sure I’ll ever get them back.
I flick the lights on in my two-bedroom townhome. It’s very simply decorated for the holidays. A Christmas tree showered in silver, blue, and pearl white ornaments. A grey and white colored tree skirt circled with reindeer underneath, holding zero presents. One couch, one dining table, one television…everything just for a party of one. That’s the way it has to be until I can start trulylivingagain.
I step into my art room a moment later, where I like to draw, paint, and write. I continue with my nightly routine of wanting to lose myself in something positive and let go of the betrayal that still haunts me. Standing in the doorway, the memories rewind in my head like a broken record player.
I walktoward my supportive group of friends with a skip in my step as I reach them. They’re all standing in front of the piece, which took me about a year to perfect—a painting of a mother and her daughter, reflecting an estranged, distraught relationship.
“Dude, her work doesn’t stand out. It’s pretty fucking mid to me,” Eli, my friend since the first year of college, says over the room chatter. “It’s shit art.”
I freeze.
“I did not like it…at all. I was doing everything I could to not just burn it until it became ashes,” Lilly adds, and my heart chips further. I tilt my head to the side as a lump forms in my throat.
This can’t be happening.
They’re my best friends.
A massive man softly bumps into my shoulder by accident. He pauses momentarily, most likely to apologize for the collision, but I can’t give him my attention. The betrayal that’s unfolding before me is like watching a train crash, and I can’t look away or breathe.
“Leave her alone. She has time to grow,” my husband of five years interjects.
Liam comes to my defense, but his words don’t sound convincing.
I swallow the ache in my throat just as the man who bumped into me walks away.
“She’s just so weak, like her art and her books,” Lilly says in a tone I don’t recognize. It’s not familiar to me because she’s been masking this persona for the last ten years.
“She isn’t good enough. I keep telling her to give up and just focus on our relationship,” Liam chimes in just as he grabs my best friend’s ass and kisses her.
My stomach coils just as bile rises in my throat, staring at his fingers digging into her over her dark purple dress. I can’t stop blinking as my muscles convulse as I hold the tray of champagne in my hand.
I think I’m going to be sick.
“She’s burning and crashing. No one is going to buy this shit.” Eli continues to spill his truth.
“One star for trying,” Lilly adds, gripping Liam’s hand as though she’s done this a thousand times. Red paints her cheeks as she looks at Liam with clear admiration twinkling in her brown eyes. Batting her lashes, she tugs at her lip seductively.
What the hell?
How long has this been happening behind my back?
This has to be a damn nightmare. This can’t be real.
I drop the tray of champagne. My hands couldn’t stop shaking. The glass and alcohol spray the floor everywhere as everyone in the room pins their gazes at me. The shattering sound draws everyone’s attention to the accident. Still frozen from the raw emotions, my bones continue to tremble in place.
“Oh, shit,” Liam mutters, letting Lilly go. His hand zaps away from her like she’s a disease.
Yeah, oh shit is right, jackass.
“Coraline? Babe?” Liam walks away from a smirking Lilly. She palms her mouth as she saunters closer to a guilty Eli, failing to hide the unremorseful curve of her red lips.
