Too late.
* * *
After about a week of working full days at Staff Childcare, a nice routine had formed for Lily. This morning, Lily exchanged looks with Rosa, the twins’ mom, as TraceyAnn gossiped up a storm about one of Rosa’s co-workers.
TraceyAnn prided herself in knowing everything about everyone, whether she in fact did or not, but maybe it was more important that everyone thought that she did, based on how much she enjoyed giving her opinions.
Lily had figured out that the best thing to do was nod politely and offer occasional sounds of shared outrage or sympathy, following TraceyAnn’s lead. It was easier to feign interest that way too, since Lily didn’t know the majority of people that TraceyAnn talked about, and even if she did, she wouldn’t care about TraceyAnn’s opinions on their hookups, spending habits, how they were raising their kids or how they acted towards TraceyAnn.
She did stick up for Luna whenever she could, but she was quickly accepting the futility of convincing her that Luna hadn’t deliberately decided to be clumsy to spite TraceyAnn.
At least she had Rosa to look forward to seeing throughout the day, as the sane, adult antidote to TraceyAnn’s gossiping and Lily’s own protectiveness towards Luna. The Staff Childcare Center was already covered with child-proofing and all the recommended safety guards, but apparently it wasn’t Luna-proofed enough. The first aid kit was used more on Luna than it was for the kids, and the girl was a frequent visitor to the on-site nurse’s station. She was sweet and cheerful, but there wasn’t a single opportunity for tripping, bruising, or an allergic reaction that she missed.
Rosa came in whenever she could take a break, visiting with the kids throughout the day. It impressed Lily that she tried so hard to make sure that the kids knew she was nearby, even if she wasn’t in the same room as them for most of the day. Some of the other parents were like that too, although most of them only worked around eight hours a day and took their kids home earlier, or brought them in later.
It had only been a short time, and Lily had already felt a comfortable friendship growing with Rosa. She was already forming attachments, and it was going to suck when it was time to leave. Especially with what was happening with Col.
“I mean, can you believe the nerve?” TraceyAnn’s bosom heaved, accentuated by the too-tight corset which forced her boobs into a shelf.
“Nuh-uh,” Rosa said, smiling at Lily. She fought to contain the giggles. The twins were among the other preschoolers being read from a book of fairy tales by Luna, who kept swapping out hand puppets to go along with the various characters and silly voices. She knew that all the adults were glad to see that the hand puppets were made of soft fabric, no pinching parts, nothing that could cut or bruise Luna—
“Ow!” That was entirely too realistic sounding. Sure enough, Luna had found a way to hurt herself. This time it was from dropping the book on her foot. The kids were giggling, thinking that Luna was still making silly voices.
Lily was going to miss Luna when she left. And she wasn’t even going to get started on the kids.
As for Col…thinking of him was just an ache of confusion and longing. Unfortunately, he crowded into her thoughts all of the time.
She had to keep reminding herself that this was temporary. Col had more than respected her wishes to “take it slow,” not that there had been opportunities to do otherwise. In the week since their first kiss —and what a kiss it was! — whenever she had been back at the house, they weren’t alone.
The other guys always seemed to find an excuse to be right where they were. Often, when she finished the evening lesson, Miller would direct Col to go out and patrol the property. And she couldn’t tell how Col felt about the fact that the two of them never had a moment to themselves.
He had been oddly formal and reserved ever since that insanely hot, smoldering kiss – and yet, he couldn’t take his eyes off of her. He actually seemed jealous when she joked around with Aylwyn, or when Merek held open a door for her or offered to fetch her coffee or a snack.
So why didn’t he make more of an effort to be alone with her?
And what was behind the increasing tension she saw creasing his brow and stiffening his gait every night that she visited? He was suffering, she knew. And she suffered for him.
She should have just accepted it. She had to leave – she was here under false pretenses, and she was way too close to Rey geographically. There was no future with Col, and she had a feeling that if she ever had the chance to spend even one night with him, it would be agony to tear herself away.
And yet, each time she saw him, the urge to just clamp herself around that muscular body grew even stronger, to hell with the consequences.
Thank God the other boys, and Miller, and Simon, were unconsciously cockblocking, otherwise she probably would have thrown all caution to the wind. As an added safeguard, she allowed herself to have Aylwyn’s playful flirtatiousness as a buffer. She felt comfortable around him, genuinely amused by his lightheartedness, and he was all too willing to “buff,” however she chose to define it.
With the money she was making with Simon, and using the rest of time picking up hours at the Staff Childcare Center, she would have enough cash soon for a down payment for the auto repair shop. At least that would get the repairs process going. Or if a used car became available when she had the cash in hand, she’d have that option as well. It simply made more sense to stay put and stockpile money for a fresh start elsewhere. After all, she might not get another opportunity like this again.
Too bad each day she stayed was making it harder to leave.
