“Sriii, sriii.” La La’s shrill voice rose through the air, and Liza turned to see that the Srilaa was tugging on the fur of an alien whose species Liza didn’t even recognize. It was a big, lumbering thing with horns and hooves and a vaguely ox-like face. It was traveling with three female mates – Liza could tell because they were smaller and more delicate-looking and had thick, fringed lashes – and a gaggle of young.
The young aliens all thought La La was adorable, of course, and tossed her thick chunks of chocolate peppermint bark from paper bags they had clutched in their little hoof-hands. La La crowed with delight and bowed to them, clutching the candy in her arms.
“La La says thank you, and merry Christmas!” Liza cried, then bent down and picked La La up in her arms.
“And Liza says knock it off, you little beggar,” she murmured into La La’s pointy ear. “You all had a huge breakfast. You’re not hungry.”
La La was stuffing chocolate into her mouth, but she paused for long enough to stick her little pink tongue out at Liza. The Srilaa were not known for their maturity.
Scowling at the Srilaa, Liza headed towards the grocery store, praying that the owner, Roger, was not there. Roger was a relative newcomer to the Christmas Colony. He had only arrived four years ago, and he was not well-liked. Unfortunately, Roger always had the best selection of fruits and vegetables.
Please don’t be there, please don’t be there, she muttered to herself as she walked to the store.
Because that was the way her day was going, of course he was there. As usual, he was dressed in the latest Terra 2 threads, which apparently called for a blindingly bright-green-and-yellow plaid jumpsuit and green plastic ankle-boots. His hair was jelled into an enormous retro side-swoop, and his cologne was strong enough to choke a horse, if there had been any on the planet.
“Liza.” He leered at her. “Still the prettiest girl on the colony. So, who is your date to the Jingle Ball?”
Liza wasn’t the prettiest girl on the colony, but she was one of the few single girls, and also she kept saying no to Roger, which seemed to pique his interest.
“I’m going to be working on the evening of the jingle Ball,” she said.
“Aw, don’t be like that – you know I could show you a real good time. Why do you always have to be so bitchy?” His wheedling tone raised the hairs on the backs of her arms.
“Because I’m not the least bit attracted to you, and the pushier you are, the less attracted I am.”
“You think you’re too good for me?” Roger snapped, his little eyes narrowing even more.
“I think Aldearean snaffle-worms are too good for you,” Liza said.
“La La rrrrr,” La La snarled, face scrunched in an adorable frown. Her lips peeled back and revealed a row of surprisingly sharp, needle-like teeth, which she kept retracted unless she felt threatened.
Roger backed away from her in alarm. “Get that thing out of here before I punt it into the next block.”
“Try it.” Liza yanked a candy cane out of her purse, and he burst into laughter.
“You’re going to…what? Give me diabetes?”
She squeezed the candy cane, and it squirted him with a noxious cloud that sent him staggering back, coughing and swearing.
Liza sighed. “Come on, La La.” They hurried out of the store.
Screw it. She’d have her grandparents see if their neighbors had any fruit that she could trade for. She’d already checked at the other grocery stores in town, but they were all sold out, and new shipments weren’t coming in anymore.
She called her grandmother to let her know that she hadn’t found any fruit.
She hurried down Main Street to the parking lot, seething with frustration, with La La at her heels. She’d wasted time coming to town when she should have been home helping her grandparents.
She had no idea how Roger made the fruit trees in his greenhouse grow so well, even after the black fur fungus had destroyed most everyone else’s trees. She would have suspected him of distributing the fungus himself, except for the fact that, first of all, he wasn’t smart enough and, secondly, he had also been forced to declare bankruptcy like everybody else. It didn’t help him to be able to sell the most luscious fruits and vegetables if he had no customers to sell them to.
“Listen up, you stuck-up bitch, things are going to change around here soon,” Roger snapped at her. He had followed her out and stood between her and the hovercraft. She glanced around nervously, but all she saw was row after row of hovers. Nobody was walking around nearby.
She looked back at him, and La La bared her teeth.
“Yeah, you loser, we’re all going to be scattered to a hundred different planets and colonies. And I will never have to see you again.” She backed away from him.
“Oh yeah?” he snarled as she reached into her purse. She grabbed her self-defense candy cane, but his hand clamped on her arm, hard. Alarm jolted through her. Had he gone crazy? How did he think he’d get away with assaulting her like this?
“Sri rrrrr!” La La lunged at him and sank her needle teeth into his boot as Liza frantically tried to pull away from him.
