“Why?”
He’s silent, and then he murmurs, “I felt guilty, Grayson. I couldn’t save your brother. If I had gotten there ten minutes earlier. If I hadn’t stopped to grab a coffee on the way to his place. If I had left my house earlier… he would be alive. I could have saved him. When I walked into that apartment and saw the blood and him—I’ve never forgotten that scene. It haunted me. The idea of coming back was too hard. The idea of facing you was too much to bear.”
I look away. “It wasn’t your fault. I shouldn’t have left that night. I knew the mental state he was in.”
Derek sighs, his voice thick as he kicks a stone on the ground. “I’m back now, Grayson. I know I’ve made mistakes, but I hope you and I can work things out. And once you’re willing, I’d like to meet Ethan again.”
My heart is aching. When Ethan was born, Gabriel had been so excited, so eager to be the fun uncle. He had rarely put him down. He didn’t just deprive me of a brother but robbed my son of the chance to have an uncle.
Derek turns around to leave, and I find myself saying, “There’s a game this weekend. My fiancée will be there, and so will Ethan. I’ll introduce you after the game.”
“Your fiancée?” Derek looks over his shoulder at me. “The human girl?”
I nod, waiting for the questions in his eyes to appear on his lips, but he only nods. “I’ll be there.”
I watch him leave, and once he’s out of sight, I lean against the car door, my knees weak. The knot in my throat is still there, but it’s manageable now.
I let out a shuddering breath, closing my eyes and leaning my head back.
Derek’s back.
He’s finally back.
Straightening, I begin walking to the house, trying not to think of how Saturday will turn out.
There’sa bottle in the cabinet in the garage. Coach handed it to me two summers back and told me to save it for a night I needed it. It’s pack brew, strong enough to do something to a shifter. I haven’t touched it.
I touch it tonight.
Miranda is asleep in bed. She didn’t ask any questions when I got back from meeting Derek. I could see the questions in her eyes, but she held her tongue, which is odd for her. But maybe she could see how tense I was. She made me a cup of coffee before going to bed, though, and it was overly sweet, the way I like it.
I don’t bother with a glass, just carrying the bottle all the way to my brother’s grave. I know the path with my eyes closed, howmany steps, each rock and stone on the ground. I’ve been here so many times.
Gabriel’s stone catches the light from the half-moon. It carries his name with two dates beneath, nothing else.
There are flowers on the grave and a familiar scent.
Derek was here.
I sit down on the grass at the base of the stone and unscrew the bottle.
It burns my throat as I lean against the gravestone, my vision blurred.
“He’s finally back.”
I take another swig before slamming the bottle on the ground. “All these years and now he’s decided to show up.” My voice hitches. “Both of you were fucking liars. You two abandoned me when you said you wouldn’t. And now he shows up…What? Are you going to show up to haunt me next?”
If my brother was here, he’d roll his eyes at me for being dramatic. But he’s not here, and there’s no one here to sling their arm around my neck and sneer, “And what if I do?”
I tilt my head back, my eyes closed. The night air is silent aside from the occasional owl and the insect activity. When I open my eyes, I take another gulp of the brew, needing something to numb the pain. Wiping my mouth with the back of my hand, I mutter, “It felt like you died all over again today. I want to beat your ass so fucking bad. But—” I let my head hang. “But I’m beginning to understand why you felt you couldn’t go on without Annie. I feel the same way about Miranda.”
I stare at a beetle trying to hide from me in the grass, and my voice is dull. “I know I could ask the Council for permission. You got permission. But then what happened? There’s a reason there are so few fated mate pairings still alive with a human mate. If Coach hadn’t fought for you, they would never have allowedit.” A pained laugh leaves my lips. “They didn’t let her live long, though, did they?”
I take another pull, the anger clashing with the misery. I’m no fool. I might have pretended not to know, but the Council of Elders never like to be forced. There is no way that my sister-in-law just happened to walk in the middle of the road and get hit by a truck in the middle of a shady street with no cameras. She wasn’t even supposed to be there. She had just left a job interview.
Gabriel had been too grief-stricken to think straight, and when I mentioned it to Coach, he told me I was seeing things that weren’t there. So I kept my silence. But now I wish I hadn’t. If I had mentioned my doubts to my brother, maybe he would have wanted to investigate rather than kill himself.
I let out a strangled sound, my head lifting slightly in the direction of the main house. “I won’t mark her, Gabriel. I won’t make that mistake. But I’ll keep her in my life somehow. I think Coach suspects, or maybe I’m just being paranoid. A part of me wants to take her and Ethan and just run away.”
