“Just say them, Lana. It’ll hurt, but it’s the fastest way to deal with the issue, right?”
I give him a sad smile. “Right. The first point I want to make is that you’re a good person, and I love you.”
He blinks quickly several times in a row. “O…kay…?”
“Point two is that my life could have been worse. I was safe and healthy and fed vegetables and crap. And I grew up to be someone that a man as amazing as your best friend could fall in love with. In a matter of hours. He took over that hotel kitchen and made that omelet forme,Dad. If that’s the kind of devotion I inspire, then I am fuckingwinningat romance, and if you want any advice about how best to approach Sadie, I’ve already made extensive notes. Also, I’msorry you have to share your Kelly’s awesomeness with me. I know how much he means to you, but there’s plenty of him, and we probably mostly covet different parts,” I add with a giggle-snort.
Dad growls as he squints at me. “Nope. No dick jokes. Ever.”
“Aw,Dad.Coffee with milk,andyou got my joke? You’re definitely in the running for Father of the Year this season.”
“Hmpf. I’m sure I’ll fuck something up before the award ceremony. And if you think I’m telling you a single fucking thing about Sadie Lawrence, you’re fucking deluded. You’re getting squat.”
“We’ll see. I do have something else to say, if you’re interested in hearing it?”
Dad leans a little further back. “If it has anything to do with what happens between you and Kelly, I’ll pass.”
“It’s not. It’s about you and something you said.”
He looks at me sideways. “Which time? Apparently I say a lot of stupid shit, and I can tell from your face that you think this thing I said was stupid.”
His hands are still in mine, so I give them a squeeze.
“Grief isnotdepressive bullshit. It’s part of life. I think you need to forgive yourself for every time you’ve fallen in love with someone new. You’re going to screw things up with Sadie if you don’t. Learn from your past mistakes. Please. Your family wants to see you happy. The last time you really tried to move on was twenty-two years ago — and you weren’t ready for it.”
“I was?—”
“You weren’t ready,” I say again, more firmly. “I came along and rushed you guys into making a decision, and you both chose something that was doomed to fail. Mom wanted you to love her the way you loved Martha’s mom, and that was an impossible thing to expect. My mother was not Gabriella, and you were not who you had once been, so recreating the same result was an unattainable prospect. It’s fine. You got me out of it, and as we’re both coming to understand, I might be turning out to be kind of awesome.”
Dad’s steel-toes bump against mine. “You’ve always been awesome. It’s just that you can also be an absolute dickhead sometimes. You’re not so dissimilar to your old man that way.”
“There are worse people I could be like,” I reply with a smile. “But seriously. Sort your shit out this time. If you like the girl, try to… act like it.”
Dad gives me a flat stare. “That’s your sage fucking advice? Act like I like her?”
“Yup,” I say with a grin. “And I recommend you ask an expert like Bates for pointers. I’ve only ever felt adored by him — and Iknow you don’t want to hear about that, but on some level, you must be relieved that I’ll be taken care of by a pro. When Martha and Harper find the people they want to settle down with, you have to do that whole awkward can-I-trust-this-fucker-with-my-baby-girl thing. My being with Bates ismuchbetter. You’ll see.”
Dad mutters a bunch of things under his breath, and his mouth is turned down hard, but his eyes are smiling, and that level of agreement counts in my books.
27
BATES
“Honey, I’mho-ome.”
We’ve been living together for nearly two weeks — which Lana will tell me isn’t sufficient time to draw any conclusions from — but I’m pretty sure greeting her that way won’t ever get old.
Her computer and notepads are sprawled across the table, but she’s not with them.
“You here, babe? The fire pit’s lit, and Hawk’s getting the grill fired up for dinner,” I call as I’m shedding my dirty coveralls at the door. After freeing Martha’s truck from thawed sludge, there’s far too much mud on me to drag through the trailer. Even without clothes, I’m still a filthy fucking mess.
“Just about to get in the shower,” she calls back in a strange, rushed sort of tone that’s followed by some scuffling and the water turning on.
“Perfect,” I reply, letting myself into the bathroom.
Lana gasps as if caught doing something naughty. Her puffy, bloodshot eyes appraise my naked body. “Holy fucking shit. Did you leave any mudoutside?”
The more she looks me over, the more apparent it becomes that she likes what she sees. I can’t keep my own eyes fromappreciating her, either, with her gorgeous tits with their pretty peaked nipples. Not to mention the way her thighs twist together as she nibbles at her lower lip while she gives me the steamiest look a recently crying woman has ever given me. Her delicate hand reaches for me automatically and then stops before meeting the mud-caked wall of my chest.
