“How are things with Shaniah, then? You’re here, so you must have ironed out the wrinkles. What did it take to calm her tits? More than a week off when the baby comes? And what’s this I hear about you commandeering the hotel kitchen to cook a midnight fucking omelet? You’re lucky they adore my money enough to let you be a dickhead.”
My heart jumps into my throat and starts beating so intensely that I can’t breathe or swallow or speak, or…
“Kel?”
I’m fucked. I’m so fucking fucked.
It’s at this precise moment that IknowI’m in love with Lana Baker-Hawkins, because I am nowpetrifiedof what must be going through her head.
I’m too scared to even look at her in case I see an ending in her eyes instead of the beautiful beginning I was foolish enough to think I might turn into some miraculous possibility.
How could I have thought such a thing underthesecircumstances?
Clearly, I’m not only fucked, I’m also totally fucking insane.
I close my eyes and force my jaw to decompress so I can start making as many necessary repairs as it’ll take to save the special connection I’ve found with Lana.
“It’s over,” I force past my lips.
Hawk slows the truck so he can stare at me for a bit without crashing. “Shit.That’swhy you could suddenly make it? Kel?—”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“But… are you okay? What about the baby? I thought?—”
“Please stop fucking talking or I’ll get out and walk the rest of the way,” I growl, cutting him off before he can gut me in front of the only person in the world I don’t want my bullshit exposed to. “Thereisno baby,” I whisper, gritting my teeth as the pain and anger boil up inside me.
Hawk’s eyes are full of concern and questions, but he nods like a good buddy should. “Okay,” he says quietly. “I’m… sorry,” he adds as he turns his full attention back to the road. “I know how much you?—”
“You don’t know shit. Stop the truck.”
“Bates…”
“Damn it, Hawk. Don’t fuckingBatesme — just pull over,” I roar. “If I have to stay another minute in here, I’m going to punch you in the fucking face, and I don’t want to do that. I know you care, and I love you for it, but you’re killing me.”
He pulls over without delay, and I get out. Pausing with the door wide, I keep my eyes too low to meet anyone’s gaze.
“Lana, it was lovely to meet you. Apologies for the lousy introduction. I deeply regret that it hasn’t gone smoother. Please come around and take the seat you should have sat in to begin with,” I say calmly as I gesture to the front seat. “I look forwardto working with you, and hope to God you don’t hold this against me.”
Hawk stares at me, his eyes pleading. “Bates…”
I point directly at him. “Not another word, Hawk. Please. I’ll see you in a few hours when I’ve cooled off.”
“But it’s already getting dark, and we’re still miles away.”
“Don’t care.” I turn away and bump into Lana, who’s come around the truck as I asked. I steady her before she can fall, and then I apologize profusely as I help her into the front seat.
“Will you be okay?” she asks.
Her voice is so sweet, but it’s shaky as hell, and it breaks my heart that I made it that way.
I nod once and keep my tone as even as I can. “The fresh air will do me good.”
“If fresh air is all you need, then you should ride in the back with the bags and save your energy,” she says. “You look tired, and it sounds like you’ve been through a lot.”
She jams her foot in the way of the door when I make to shut it, clearly waiting for me to respond.
“She has a point,” Hawk says from his side of the truck when neither of us moves. “Plenty of fresh air back there, and zero risk of anyone saying shit, getting punched in the face, or getting lost in the dark. Excellent recommendation, Goose.” He points between Lana and me. “You’ll be following golden advice like that all season, Kel, so you might as well start now and give all of us some peace of mind.”
