At his silence, I peeked between my fingers. He watched me carefully, like I was a skittish animal he was trying not to scare away. “You not talking isn’t helping.” I lowered my hands, slumping. “You think I’m nuts?”
Murray slowly shook his head, searching my face. “I just need to make sure you know exactly what you’re proposing first.”
I frowned, indignant. “Of course I know what I’m proposing.”
“Do you? Because what you’re proposing means neither of us can date anyone for quite some time. When we’re in public, we’ll have to act like we’re a married couple. You’ll have to live in this house and when Kelly’s here, we’ll have to share a room. When I get sole custody, that would mean sharing a bedroom for as long as we decide to keep the pretense up. It would mean lying to my daughter and bringing a woman into her life who she could grow attached to, only for us to break her heart.”
Shit. Disappointment crashed over me as I looked away, trying not to let him see I was on the brink of tears. “Everything else I was happy to do … except that last part. I didn’t think about Kelly possibly getting attached to me. Wow, what aninsensitive moron. I’m sorry for coming here and wasting your time.”
“Wait.” Murray reached out as if to touch me, to stop me from sliding off the stool, but snapped his hand back before he could reach me. “You’re not an insensitive moron. I … I’ve had to do things I never thought I’d have to. Like leaving my daughter in a home I know she’s not safe in because I’m bound by an inadequate legal system. And I … I think I’d do just about anything to get Jill out of her life. I’ve thought about this over and over, and even if I could cut Jill off from the company’s money, she’ll just use Kelly for the child support. I need her out of our lives for good … even if it means lying to my daughter.” Murray looked distraught at the very thought, but I also saw his desperation.
My hope started to build again. “You … you want to do this?”
His probing stare sent my heart racing, but I ignored my physical reaction to his presence because it would only complicate things. “You’re sure you want to? It means lying to our friends and family. Perjuring ourselves, which, if we’re not careful, could bring the law down on us?—”
“For all anyone knows, you and I have been secretly dating for months,” I said. “No one can prove we haven’t. Unless you’ve been secretly seeing someone else?”
Murray grunted. “Aye, right.”
More curious about that than I should be, I pressed, “So there hasn’t been anyone since Jill?”
He gave a sharp shake of his head. “Nope. You?”
Did he mean he hadn’t had a relationship since Jill or he hadn’t been with a woman since Jill? Pushing past my need to know such things, I answered honestly, “I’ve been on dating apps and gone on a couple of first dates on the mainland in the last few months, but that doesn’t proveweweren’t seeing each other.”
Murray appeared surprised by this information but all he said was, “You’ll need to delete your profiles.”
“Already did it. Three days ago.” I shrugged. “It wasn’t … it wasn’t for me.”
There he went doing that intense, probing thing with his beautiful eyes, as if he could see right down into my soul. “I guess that answers my question about whether you’re ready to give up your romantic freedom for a marriage in name only.”
“Well, just to confirm, I am happy to. I’m not ready for anything romantic. This way, I have more time without social pressures from well-meaning friends.”
Murray frowned. “Has anyone pressured you to date again?”
“No. They really haven’t, but at some point, they’re going to start thinking I’m … well … never mind. I guess that means you’re okay with … well … I’m just going to be blunt here: Are you okay with remaining celibate for a while and then if you have to,you know, then you’ll make sure you’re really discreet?”
I thought I detected the slightest flush on the crest of Murray’s cheekbones. He looked down into his coffee mug as he muttered, “Aye.”
Suspicious, I started to wonder if Murray did have a woman tucked away somewhere who he indulged in casual sex with. An awful feeling churned in my gut, and it took me a second to realize it was jealousy.
Since thatwascomplicating things, I hurried to further our conversation along. “I was thinking we should get married ASAP and if we’re marrying ASAP, then you’re going to need a postnuptial agreement drawn up.”
Murray’s gaze flashed to mine, stunned and wary.
“No. No, no, no.” I waved away the thoughts I saw there. “I mean to protectyouand the company. I’ll sign away all rights to anything you own. I don’t want you to have to worry about that.”
Something soft entered his expression as his eyes swept my face. And it felt good. Too good. I had to look away. “So are we doing this?”
7.Murray
Icouldn’t remember the last time I’d been nervous about anything, but my gut was definitely doingsomethingas London and I walked into the registrar’s office. When she’d come to me yesterday morning with her proposal, I thought I was in some kind of fever dream.
That feeling hadn’t dissipated as we booked our appointment for the next day in Oban at the registrar so we could get married in a civil ceremony. The early-morning ferry across to the mainland had been smooth, the universe offering us a clear, dry spring day to commit perjury.
I threw the thought out because if I dwelled too much on getting caught, I wouldn’t go through with the plan, and I desperately needed to go through with the plan.
As the registrar went over the legal stuff, my mind wandered as my attention was pulled to the woman at my side like she was a magnet. We’d barely spoken on the ferry or the drive to the registrar’s office. London had put on a long dress for the occasion. It had flowers printed on it and she’d cinched it in at the waist with a belt. On the ferry she’d worn a warm, weatherproof jacket over it, but she’d left it in the car. The dresshad a split at the front of the neckline, revealing the swell of her pale breasts.
