Therefore, I threw myself into the day-to-day of trying to return to the happy life I’d just begun to make with Murray and Kelly. Once I was cleared of the concussion I’d suffered at Nick’s attack, I’d insisted on going back to work, even though Nee tried to fight me on it. We went to the Lantern, but everyone gawked at us and I knew they were whispering about me, gossiping. Murray drove me home, and I’d hidden in the house for the past five days.
Murray sighed heavily. “Kelly won’t come out of her room. Again.”
Concern threatened to shatter my denial. “She’ll come around.”
“London.” His tone was impatient. “We can’t go on pretending like it didn’t happen.”
“Why not? We’re finally safe.”
“Because your feelings are eating away at you. And my daughter—ourdaughter—is clearly traumatized.”
It was theour daughterthat got me.
Emotion tightened my throat as tears blurred my vision. “I don’t know how I can help her when I can’t even face what I had to do to get back to her. To get back to you.”
His expression was tight with sympathy. “I know. That’s why I invited someone over to talk to you.”
Surprised as he gestured toward the living room, I was even more so to see Nee waving from the sofa.
Murray pushed a coffee cup and a mug of hot water with lemon toward me. “Go. Talk to your friend. I’ll be in my office.”
Then he was gone and I took the mugs, filled with bemusement and a little trepidation as I walked into the living room.
“Morning. Why aren’t you at the B and B?”
“Emmy’s managing things.” Nee reached up to accept the hot water and lemon from me. She grimaced at my coffee. “I miss caffeine.”
“Sorry.” I gave her a small, sympathetic smile as I sat down next to her. “What brings you here? Is the baby okay?”
“Baby is fine.” Nee shifted slightly to face me. “But my best friend is not. You’re having nightmares about killing Nick.”
Now it was my turn to grimace. “Murray told you.”
“Yes.” She considered me. “And I need to tell you something that it is literally top secret.”
I sucked in a breath at her dramatic declaration.
“I can’t tell you why or how, but after you moved here, someone from Ramsay’s past came onto Stòr with the intention of killing us both.”
Shock stunned me silent for a few seconds as she waited for my response. “I … how … why didn’t you tell me?”
“I couldn’t. I shouldn’t be telling you now. But you are more important than this secret. I … I killed him, Spoon. I killed that man. Shot him in the head because it was either him or me and Ramsay. I chose us.”
“Nee …” Tears of empathy and understanding clouded my vision.
“I had nightmares for a while. Guilt. But the guilt … I felt guilty because I didn’t feel guilty, if that makes sense. I did what I had to do to survive a man who was bent on killing us.”
A different kind of relief, one so powerful it was like a crack opening in me and allowing air in for the first time since Nick fell on the knife I’d wielded, released a sob between my lips.
Nee grabbed for my hands, squeezing them, her own tears spilling freely down her cheeks. “Nick was never going to let you go. And these things always end badly, Nee. He would have killed you and you knew that and I am sofuckingproud of you for fighting back.”
“Nee,” I gasped, crying harder.
“I know it’s painful. It’s hard. And it’s scary knowing there’s a side of us capable of feeling relief over someone’s death, but it doesn’t erase your goodness. I know you. I know who you are. You didn’t kill him because of your anger. You defended yourself so you could return to the people you love. It was love that drove you. Not hate.”
I reached for her blindly, gratitude making me shake violently against her. Nee held me tight, smoothing a soothing hand down my hair as she whispered words of love and comfort.
“Thank you,” I choked out.
