I need to keep this a little longer, need to keephima little longer.
I pull away to look up at his angelic face.
I love you too.
“Colton?”
“Yeah, Sunshine?”
I love you too.
“Take me home.”
30
HARPER
“This was left here for you too!” The barista beams at me, handing over a small envelope with a little heart drawn on the front.
I can feel my cheeks start to flame, the possibility of Colton teasing me with dirty polaroids throughout my day too high to not immediately be my first consideration.
I’ve heard the expression that people do dumb things when they are in love, but dirty things is news to me.
After a night of non-stop ‘love’ on Saturday after Colton’s meltdown, and then dinner on Sunday with Grant, Sadie, Wade, Stella and Gus, I was utterly exhausted. It was honestly a shock I made it this far on Monday without already stepping away to head to the café.
“They said to tell you they only have eyes for you, and said to draw this on your cup instead of your name. They promised you would understand what it means,” she swoons, handing me the paper coffee cup and prattling on about everlasting love.
I feel the color that just blossomed on my cheeks draininstantly as I turn the cup, the Jester’s symbol drawn in a cute pink sharpie on the side of the cream coffee cup. This is my favorite coffee shop, just down the street from theCirqueand the one place I venture off site for a little jolt when the days drag on. I’ve been sneaking away to come here since we opened our doors, a nice break in my day when I just needed a few moments that aren’t filled with questions about boas or how many rhinestones on a costume is too many rhinestones.
Well, I used to sneak away by myself, now I don’t doanythingalone. The cute shop, Jolt, won over Wade quickly enough with their decadent cupcakes and cookies, letting me in on the secret of Wade’s guilty pleasure of oatmeal chocolate chip cookies.
Wade then took it upon himself to share this hidden gem with Colton, who started running out on his own or coming with me for a midday coffee run. Now they take turns, either Wade or Colton walking down the street to the shop with me, usually mid mornings once rehearsals are in full swing and we can scurry off before there is another fire that needs putting out.
Do I have coffee at the club? Of course, but that’s not the point. This is my safe space to take a beat. Well, it was.
I give a strained smile, cutting off the poor barista as she is gushing about her boyfriend and how he does little things like that for her all the time.
Not the romantic gesture I was hoping for today, shoving the envelope into my bag to hide from Wade as he picks out some baked goods at the case to bring back to the club with him. Bent at the waist and nose practically pressed against the glass in an effort to be one with the tray of cookies.
I’m not sure why I don’t tell him about the envelope and the scribbled symbol, wrapping my hand tight around the cup to hide the marking. He’s the head of my security, my personalbodyguard, I should tell him. I should let him know the threat is getting closer and closer to home, but I can’t bring myself to admit this would be another win for them. A way to isolate me further, cutting off my access to the outside world, because the minute I tell anyone about this is the minute I lose the ability to make these little trips, and any others like them.
The logical part of me knows it would be to keep me safe, but the other side is screaming that it would drive me insane to be cooped up, never going anywhere butCirqueand home, over and over until I die. This is their plan, this is how they scare me. Not with knives or death threats, but with flowers and coffee, because it shows that they know me. They know where I get my coffee and what I order, they know how to get into my club without being seen, they know when the cameras are on and where they are.
They are my biggest fan, and I’m chasing a ghost.
“You sure youaren’t getting sick too?” Sadie whispers to me as we end the employee meeting Monday night, watching the hordes of people pick up their bags and shuffle to the exit. It’s been a long weekend and with a nasty virus running through the club, I’ve been given the perfect excuse to clear everyone out for a few days while I figure out what to do.
I met with Marcus, Tessa, Sadie and Wade before we asked everyone to convene, making sure they would be okay with me telling everyone to take the next few days off and resume rehearsals on Wednesday. Claiming that by giving everyone a little more rest we can nip this sickness in the bud before I’m the only one left to tend bar and tell knock-knock jokes on stage.
Tessa and Marcus were happy to take the extra days off, though Marcus spent a good 5 minutes making sure to remindhis teams that they needed to make sure they were still stretching and practicing the basics, so they don’t come back “stale”. Ever the workaholic.
“No, just tired. But thanks for letting me know I’m looking great,” I tease her as we walk into my office and shut the door.
“I don’t mean it like that. You just look a little pale. You sure you’re okay?”
“Yup.” I say, trying to sound nonchalant and worry-free.
Liar. Liar. Liar.
