I shift back on the desk, ass regaining enough of its space for me to pull back up to sitting.
His hands cup each knee, keeping my legs slightly spread as he uses my body for leverage to stand. He lets go of my knees in favor of standing between them, but instead of dragging me towards him to bring our bodies flush, the only contact I feel is the hand reaching up to lightly circle my throat.
I push forward, wanting the pressure and the punishment. He doesn’t give it to me, moving with my body, tilting my face up to look at him. Those green eyes demanding, but full of adoration.
“What am I, Harper?”
It’s the same question as before, and he’s not going to be satisfied until he gets the truth.
“You don’t want this. You don’t know what you’re asking for.” I could warn him until I’m blue in the face, and he still wouldn’t understand. “It’s just a crush. We’ll get over it.”
You are too bright to live in darkness.
“Just a crush, that’s what you think this is? Is that why you punished Harlin, because of a crush? Tell me, Sunshine.”
The memory of her touching his chest, running her lying, cheating hands over him as she leaned up to purr in his ear plays in my head. A never-ending loop I can’t shake off, turning the waking hours into nightmares, imagining the ways he would make her moan.
“If I had to suffer, so did she. You want to know what you are? You’remine, Colton. When you are in this club, you aremine.” I’m barring my teeth and he’s grinning like a smug little bastard, finally getting the answer he craved. The answer that will doom us both. He kisses me, long and slow, pouring himself into the embrace. He pulls back, hand still cradled against my collarbones, like the little spot was crafted just for his hand to lay there, fingers wrapped around my throat.
“I am yours. Not just at the club. There is no getting youout of my system. This isn’t a quick fuck or a stress release. I want it all. I won’t settle for parts of you, not when all of me is yours.”
I don’t need to turn away from his declaration as he releases his hold around my neck, its loss gripping tighter than his hands ever did.
He turns his back to me and strides towards the door, satisfied with the confession he pulled from me, if nothing else.
A silly boy with no survival instincts.
You never turn your back to the monster.
19
HARPER
There literally couldn’t be a worse time for a girl’s night. But when Sadie called and asked if I was on my way, what was I supposed to say,‘Sorry sis, I assumed since we have this whole cocaine drug ring problem, we would be tabling girl’s night for a hot minute.’
But I do need to tell her about the plan, and the backup plan. Or, as Wade likes to call it,Horrible IdeaandCovering up the Horrible Idea. I think they have a nice little ring to them. He does not. However, in all his blustering and questions, he never actually said no. I think that will be important to remember later if shit hits the fan.
Sadie, on the other hand, is going to say no immediately, and frequently throughout the entire explanation. It’s going to be quick, like ripping off a band-aid. I’ll just tell her the plan, listen to her tell me how horrible it is and then she can tell me all the ways to improve it. Then when she calms down a little, I’ll let her know it’s already in motion.
I bound up to her apartment door and knock, anticipation crawling over my spine as I wait for my sister to unlock the deadbolt. She has been in the office less and less, choosing towork from home instead of at the club and I don’t blame her, but I don’t like that I can’t keep an eye on her either. I’ve been dealing with the unwelcome delivery the best way I know how, determination and…distractions. Sadie hasn’t been dealing with it at all, the few times I’ve tried to bring it up with her, she’s either cut me off or abruptly changed the topic.
With every deflection and unanswered call my worry grew and grew until eventually I called the one person she wouldn’t avoid. That she couldn’t avoid. I don’t know if she will thank me or curse me when that shoe drops, but at the end of the day as long as she is here, hating and hexing me, then I will fall asleep every night with no regrets.
Sadie’s door swings open and she greets me with a bright smile as she squeals at my arrival, a stark contrast to the expectation I had mentally prepared myself for. When she had demanded tonight happen, I had thought that maybe, finally, she had decided she wanted to talk about all the shit that’s been happening. Work through it together, like we had in the past. I had braced myself for gaunt and thin, an apartment strewn with empty, barely eaten takeout containers, the couch piled high with blankets and pillows, protection against the nightmares that come alive in the dark.
This Sadie, though… This is the Sadie with her heart on her sleeve and candy in her pockets. My Sadie. God, I need her. More than she knows.
I stride past the living room, walking straight for the little kitchen that sits across from the bathroom and bedroom on the other side of the apartment.
“I have a lot to fill you in on. It’s been torture not having you at work. Obviously, I understand you wanting to work from home, you know that, but Colton is driving me insane, which is just adding to my already growing frustration at everything. Which is fine, because I have an idea and its honestly a terrible idea,” I pause my rant, realizing how much pent-up energy I’vebeen burying until I got to see her again. Everything is pouring out of me now.
I reach up into the cabinet, knowing where she keeps her stash of Cheez-its and plop them onto the counter. Bending over at the waist, I search around her fridge for a Diet Coke while toeing off my heels behind me.
“Ohh! Is this terrible idea that you and Colton arefinallygetting together?”
My soda search halts and my left heel dangles off my outstretched foot. I straighten my spine, pulling my head out of the fridge at the voice does not belong to my fucking sister.
I kick the offensive heel behind me and walk around the edge of the kitchen and back towards the living room I just breezed through without a second glance.
