“What if I’m ready?”
“Ready for what?”
“More,” I tell him. “Sex.”
His eyes widen in surprise. “You want to have sex?”
I nod my head. “I want to try… Obviously I haven’t since… But I want to. With you.”
Lex smirks. “Well, you sure as shit aren’t trying with anyone else. I’d kill anyone who touched you, Addi.”
I can’t help but smile. It’s twisted. I shouldn’t be happy hearing about his murderous tendencies and possessiveness, but I am. “I don’t want you to do it because you feel obligated, Lex. If you don’t want to, just say so.”
“Are you sure?”
I nod my head.
“Now?” he asks with a raised brow.
I smile. “I mean, we’re both here, and there’s a bed right there.” I gesture across the room.
“Okay.” Lex eyes me curiously. “But if at any point you want to stop, we can stop. We don’t need to do this, Addi. And if you’re doing it because you think I need it, then don’t.”
“I’m doing it because I need it, Lex. I need to know that I can. I need to know that he didn’t break me completely,” I whisper.
Lex steps towards me again. This time, taking hold of my hand. “If you’re broken, I’d hate to think what the fuck I am,” he says. Then he pulls me towards the bed and lies down. “You’re on top.”
“But I don’t know what to do,” I admit.
“Get on top of me, and then do whatever comes to mind. Do whatever makes you feel good, Addi.”
“But I want it to feel good for you too.”
“Trust me, having you on top of me will feel good.” He smirks. “Take off your panties.”
“I already did.” I climb on top of him and straddle his hips. “I was kind of hoping you wouldn’t turn me down.”
“Pfft, I will never turn you down.”
“You used to.” I shrug, placing my hands on his chest. “I want you to touch me, Lex. I want you to do whatever you would normally do.”
Lex reaches over and flicks on the bedside light. “I want you to keep your eyes on mine,” he says as his fingers grip the hem of my shirt and he starts slowly lifting it, giving me every opportunity to stop him.
Chapter Nineteen
I’ve never wanted anything in my life the way I want Addison. I’ve also never been more fucking terrified. I know I need to listen to her. If she really thinks she’s ready for this, then I need to let her. But fuck, I’m scared of doing something that willhurt her or have her retreat from me. It’s why I haven’t initiated any kind of physical contact, other than holding her hand.
I wanted it to be her decision.
Lifting her shirt over her head, I discard it to the side of the bed. My eyes stay on hers, searching her face for any sign of discomfort.
Addison leans down. Her lips press against mine. “I really do want this, Lex. Stop worrying about me.”
“I’m always going to worry about you, Addi,” I tell her. “I just don’t want to fuck this up. I don’t want to give you a reason to leave me.” I’m laying it all out there. I know that. But fuck, I don’t need to hide my feelings from her. She’s the only person in this world I’d ever let myself be this vulnerable with.
“I’m not going anywhere,” she says. “If I feel like I need to stop, I’ll tell you and I know that you will. I trust you, which is why I know I can do this. We can do this.”
My hands cup her face, and I bring my lips back to hers. Our tongues tangle together, slowly, tasting, relishing every single fucking second I get to touch her. Addison moves her hips, her pussy presses into my cock, and she lets out a tiny whimper into my mouth.
