‘Okay, you can stay here then.’
Leo immediately runs into the hall and plonks himself into his pushchair where I strap him in. He’s getting way too old be pushed about, but his buggy is so handy for keeping him contained when I don’t have the time or energy to manage him. Does that make me a bad mother? Maybe, but that’s a guilt trip I’ll save for another day.
Rosie thunders back down the stairs with Shorty and the three of us leave the house. Stepping outside, I instantly start to feel more positive, the warm evening air a balm on my skin. The simple act of walking and pushing Leo’s buggy makes me feel proactive, less trapped. I’ve always had a hard time sitting still and doing nothing.
‘This is like an adventure, Mummy!’ Rosie cries, skipping along by my side.
‘It is, sweetie. It’s a lovely evening adventure.’
‘Unkash!’ Leo cries again, pointing to the road ahead.
‘Yes, we’re going to see Uncle Ash. You sit nice and quietly and we’ll soon be there.’ My cunning plan is that the motion of the pushchair will eventually lull Leo to sleep. In fact, I’m going to walk the long way around to give him more of an opportunity to get snoozy.
My big brother Ash is a local cop. He always wanted to join the force and it suits his personality down to the ground. He’s a straight shooter, a real good guy who isn’t afraid of anything. His only flaw is that he tends to look down on me, his tearaway sister. When we were younger, I was always the one getting into scrapes, blaming him, and landing us both in trouble with our parents. I love Ash, I really do, but it’s hard living in his perfect shadow. However, the one thing I do know is that he’ll always be there for me. As long as I play by the rules.
Twenty minutes later, Leo is fast asleep in his pushchair, his mouth wide open, a line of drool down his chin, while Rosie walks sedately by my side, yawning, her thumb in her mouth, all her earlier enthusiasm having faded after our long walk in the warm evening air. I get the feeling I’ll be carrying her all the way home.
We stroll along the high street past the silent shops and the lively pubs, past Salinger’s, where I notice that Fiona’s left a light on at the back. I think about texting her to let her know, but immediately change my mind. Maybe she’s working late. And if she is, she might feel obliged to come out and start talking to me. I pass Ida’s Bakery – which is closed for the night – and stick my middle finger up at the window, subtly so Rosie can’t see, but it’s satisfying, nonetheless. I still don’t know why the staff were so rude to me earlier. It’s weird.
There’s something odd going on that I can’t quite put my finger on. Like everything in my universe has slightly shifted. I think it could have something to do with the crazy rumour at Rosie’s school about me being a murderer. As long as it’s nothing to do with the photos. My skin tingles. What if Ididdo something with that man in the photograph? What if it’s common knowledge and lots of people saw me that night? They might think I’m carrying on behind Ed’s back. If that’s the case, then Ed is sure to find out. Someone will tell him. Maybe he already knows…
I can’t think like this. No one knows. Of course they don’t. I’m just being paranoid. They’re probably fake images anyway. Please God, let them be fake. I haven’t heard anything more from the person who sent them – not since they texted Ed. But I’m sure it’s only a matter of time until they get in contact again. And when they do, it’ll be worse than last time; I’m convinced of that. Whoever it is wants to ruin my life. But why?
Rosie stops and holds her arms up to me. I hoist her onto my hip and she rests her sleepy head on my shoulder. I’ve become adept at carrying her while pushing Leo in the buggy; it’s second nature. But I know that soon my arms will start to ache. Quickening my pace, I stride along the rest of the high street, turn right after the library and head towards the police station. If Ash isn’t working tonight, his house is only around the corner. I don’t like to turn up unannounced, but I don’t want to text either, to give him the chance to say he’s too busy to see me.
I push Leo’s buggy up the ramp into the police station. It’s Friday night so things will soon be busy with drunken fights and lovers’ spats, but for now it’s empty in here. Just Sally Payne on the front desk, her blonde hair pulled back into a neat bun at the back of her head. She’s a couple of years older than me and has worked for the local police force since leaving school.
She looks up briefly with the beginnings of a smile on her lips. But when she sees me, the smile dies.
‘Hi, Sally,’ I say tentatively.
‘Tee. Can I help?’ I’m taken aback by the lack of warmth to her greeting. Maybe she’s had a stressful day.
‘I’m here to see Ash.’
‘Oh. Well, he’s only just clocked on.’
‘Is he free for a quick chat? I won’t keep him long.’
She gives a barely suppressed huff. ‘Fine, I’ll see if he’s got a minute.’
‘Don’t do me any favours,’ I mutter under my breath as she ducks into the back office. I set Rosie down on one of the vinyl chairs where she immediately curls up and resumes sleeping. Leo is also still sound asleep. Poor babies, they’ll be disappointed that they missed seeing their uncle. But at least it’ll make it easier for me to chat to him without constant interruptions.
The door to the back office swings open with a squeak and my brother walks through in his uniform, a hesitant smile on his face with an accompanying raised eyebrow. He’s tall and broad, dark and handsome. My brother used to be the school heartthrob, only he never knew it. He got married really young to Lyndsay Daniels, a quiet girl who lived up the road from us. They now have three kids, aged fourteen, twelve and nine.
‘Hi, Tee. Everything okay?’ He comes around the front and gives me a hug. I squeeze his shoulders a little too hard and a little too long, my eyes beginning to fill up. I sniff and try to compose myself before he sees my face again. But he obviously senses something’s up. ‘Hey, Tee, you okay?’ He pulls back and stares at me.
I tut and roll my eyes to throw him off the scent. ‘I’m fine. How’s things with you? Lynds and the kids okay?’
‘Yeah, all good.’ He nods in the direction of my two. ‘I see my niece and nephew are out for the count.’ His baritone reverberates through the small reception area.
‘What’s up with Sally?’ I note that she hasn’t come back to the front desk yet.
‘Sally? How do you mean?’
‘She was a bit off with me just now.’
‘Really? She seemed okay to me…’
