Nathan seems remarkably calm, for which I’m grateful. I thought he might blame me. I thought it might lead to us getting into a fight and him getting angry. I allow my shoulders to relax and unclamp my jaw. My appetite has even come back. I try a small bite of the salmon – not bad, though I say it myself. I allow myself a few more mouthfuls before setting my knife and fork down on the plate.
‘You’ve got such a tiny appetite, Fi.’ He gives me an appreciative smile. ‘Not like your friends – Kelly and Tia eat like pigs.’ He chuckles. Even though Nathan likes home-cooked meals, he isn’t too keen on me eating them myself. Not that he says anything specifically. It’s more a feeling I get. Consequently, I’ve trained myself to eat really small portions.
‘I really don’t know what you see in those two,’ he continues. ‘I know you were all friends at school, but they don’t really fit into your life any more, do they?’
‘They’re my oldest friends,’ I protest. But, thinking about it, he’s right about Tia. We have nothing in common any more.
‘Well, I think you should cut them loose. Make some new friends – ones who’ll be good for your business.’
‘Maybe… but it’s nice having friends who aren’t linked to work.’
‘If you say so.’ He shrugs.
I wait for him to finish his plate and start clearing the table while he goes through to the lounge and switches on the TV. Once I’m done and the kitchen is immaculate once more, I slip off my heels and follow him through to the lounge, where I snuggle up next to him on the sofa.
‘What do you fancy watching tonight? A series or a movie?’ I ask.
Nathan leans away from me and gives me an enquiring look. ‘What are you doing, Fi?’
A chill slides down my back. I know that tone. I knows he’s trying to catch me out.Think, think.What have I done to annoy him? What have I forgotten? ‘I… Sorry, Nath, did you want something else? Tea? Some dessert?’ Even though Nathan never eats dessert, I try to think what I could whip up. Maybe a fruit salad… or I could nip to the shops. Maybe Kelly’s got something. She’s bound to have a freezer full of desserts for the boys.
‘You don’t think you get to sit and watch TV when you’ve screwed-up so badly,’ Nathan sneers.
My heart is pounding now. Knocking so violently against my ribcage that it actually hurts. Nathan’s eyes are stony. I’m so stupid. Why did I have to tell him what’s going on with the tax audit? I should have kept it to myself. ‘No, of course not.’ I jump to my feet. ‘I’ll… I’ll go to bed.’
‘Bed?’ He shakes his head and smiles incredulously. ‘No time for sleep, Fi. You’re going to have to head back to the office and go through your accounts with a fine-toothed comb. You need to make sure your business is squeaky clean.’
‘It is, Nathan. You don’t need to worry on that score.’ I can’t think about the reality of the situation. I can’t give Nathan a hint of the truth – that the legitimacy of my business is balanced on a knife edge. That any day now the auditors could come across a receipt that will tip them off to what I’ve been doing.
‘It better be clean. Because I can’t afford any hint of a scandal. I work in finance, Fi.Finance.I won’t have us the subject of gossip. I won’t have my reputation dragged through the mud. Is that clear?’
‘Of course.’
‘Of course.’ He mimics my nervous tone, shakes his head and laughs. ‘Go on then. Off you trot. And don’t think about coming back until you’ve checked and double-checked every single piece of paper in that office.’
I stumble out of the room with the taste of salmon en croûte in my throat and the acidic burn of white wine in my gullet. Nathan isn’t going to let this drop until the auditors have given my business the all clear.But I’m not sure that’s ever going to happen.
Nineteen
KELLY
With trembling fingers, I open the front door as far as it will go with the chain attached. I peer out to see a man standing a couple of paces back, illuminated beneath the security light. Despite the warmth of the evening, he’s wearing a navy hoodie and a baseball cap. His eyes are blue, and he looks to be somewhere in his twenties. His face isn’t one I recognise.
‘Hello?’ My voice sounds calmer than I feel.
‘Hi.’ He shifts from one foot to the other and rubs at the dark stubble on his chin.
‘Can I help?’ I smile but it feels fake, so I stop.
‘Sorry to disturb you.’ His voice is soft and deep. ‘I’m looking for someone.’
This must be the man Sophie has run away from. I wonder what he did to her. ‘Oh?’
‘It’s my wife…’
I wait for him to go on. Looking closer, I notice that his eyes are a little bloodshot.
‘It’s just… she’s missing. She’s been missing for a few days… so I’ve been knocking on doors all over town asking if anyone’s seen her.’
