And now we’re struggling financially because of all the loans and expenses. I love my husband but his aspirations and extravagance leave me edgy and short of breath. ‘Why don’t we think about it?’ I say. ‘There’s no hurry, is there?’
He grins, leans over and kisses me, his blue eyes twinkling. ‘It’ll be amazing. You can help me come up with a name for the agency.’
‘Jared,’ I say. ‘We really need to think about it first. We’ve only been in our house a year. Joe’s just started a new school. We don’t have any spare cash. You’ll need money to set it up, a client list, staff…’
‘Staff’s no problem, I know loads of great creatives and account handlers. We can get a business loan to get us off the ground. And I can pitch for new clients. Simple.’
He makes everything sound so easy. I want to be swept up in his plans, I really do. But all I can see is the worry of a thousand decisions and the burden of borrowing more money.
‘Don’t worry, Lou. It’ll be good for us. For our little family.’ He downs the rest of his tea and gets to his feet, stretching his arms out in front of him. ‘Okay, I’m going for a run, then to the gym. I’ll be back about nine, okay?’
I nod. ‘What do you want to eat tonight?’
‘Anything. Something easy. Stir fry?’
I nod, my stomach suddenly knotted with anxiousness. Maybe he’s right. Maybe it will be okay, and he’ll make a success of it. I shouldn’t be such a killjoy. I should be more fun, more laid back. More like Darcy.
Four
It’s a perfect Indian summer. The sky is a luminous blue, the air bursting with the promise of true warmth. Not a day for cardigans and jackets, but for shorts and swimming costumes, factor-thirty sun cream, and parasols. The beach isn’t busy yet so we’ve managed to nab a great spot down at Branksome, far enough away from the busiest areas, yet not too far from the shop, toilets and café. I’m sitting cross-legged on the rug, under the sun umbrella, head down, engrossed in my novel.
‘Sorry we’re late.’
I glance up to see my sister Beth, her wife Carys, and their daughter Megan laden down with bags. They only live a few minutes’ walk from here but they’re already red-faced and sweaty.
‘Hey,’ I say.
‘Hi, Aunty Louisa. Where’s Joe?’ Megan asks, her strawberry blonde curls tumbling out from her sun hat. My niece has similar skin colouring to me, so she has to be extra careful in the sun.
‘Hi, sweetie,’ I reply. ‘Joe and Uncle Jared are out on their paddle boards. Do you want to go out on a board with Uncle Jared?’
She nods, so I put my Kindle down and start to get up. ‘I’ll take you down to the sea.’
‘That’s okay,’ Carys says, wriggling out of her shorts. ‘Stay. I’ll take her. I want a swim anyway.’
Beth and I stand together and watch them head down to the water’s edge, Megan running ahead, and Carys waving to Jared and Joe.
‘What time are Mum and Dad coming?’ I ask, sitting back down.
‘They should be here any minute – that is if Mum can tear Dad away from the garden.’ Beth plops down beside me.
‘I was there last week, dropping a book off for Mum, and they were ballroom dancing around the dining room.’ I smile at the memory.
‘They’re doing evening classes,’ Beth says.
I nod. They already told me about it.
‘Salsa, Bollywood and Ballroom,’ we say in unison, dissolving into giggles.
‘Well, this is bloody nice,’ Beth says, propping herself up with one arm and turning to face me.
It’s so not fair – her blonde pixie cut frames gorgeous dark honey-coloured skin, while my pale auburn curls are frizzing around my freckle-spattered face. I coil my hair up on top of my head, holding it off my neck for a moment, wishing I’d thought to bring a hair tie.
‘How are you guys, anyway?’ I say. ‘How’s Megan getting on at school?’
‘Really good. A few wobbles at first, but now she loves it. How about Joe?’
‘Yeah, great. We still can’t afford it, though.’ I laugh, trying to conceal my anxiety.
