Message one: ‘“Hi, Gemma. Suri here. Just calling to see if you’re okay. Not sure what happened upstairs at Diane’s, but I saw that Sadie was there, and… well, it’s none of my business, but if you need to talk, I’m here for you. Lots of love.”This message was left on Saturday at five fourteen p.m.’
Message two:beeeeeeeeep
Message three:beeeeeeeeep
Message four: ‘“Gemma? It’s Amelia. Hope you’re okay. The girls are fine, they enjoyed the party. They were a bit worried about you, but I just told them you had a headache and would be better tomorrow. Hope that’s okay. Call me if you need anything. And I meananything.”This message was left on Saturday at six fifty-five p.m.’
Message five: ‘Gemma, it’s Robert…’
My breath hitches at the sound of his voice.
‘… I wasn’t going to call. I was going to give you some space. But… please, just phone me. We need to sort this out. I’m worried about you.’
There’s a pause, as though he’s going to say something else. But then the call ends. ‘This call was left today at seven fifty-two a.m.’
He’s worried aboutme? Worried about himself, more like. Worried that I’ve kicked him out of the house and he won’t get to see the girls whenever he likes. I shove my phone in my bag, shrug on my coat and leave the house.
Driving over to Diane’s, the sun is low in the sky and every few seconds I have to slow down as the glare blinds me. Yesterday, when I pulled onto Diane’s driveway, I was surrounded by my family. I was happy. Today, I am alone and I feel as though there is a rock in my stomach and poison in my veins.
Diane’s front door opens before I’m even out of the car. She’s standing on the front step, dressed in navy slacks and a white sweater. I wonder if Robert is here, too. I realise I don’t want to see him. Not yet. I don’t quite feel strong enough. But his car isn’t in the drive so hopefully I won’t have to. But then the awful thought hits me that if he’s not here, he’s probably with Sadie. Perhaps, right at this minute, they’re in bed together, ecstatic to finally be free to shag each other senseless. I swallow down the nausea rising in my gullet.
‘Gemma, come in. It’s freezing out here.’
I do as Diane asks, looking forward to seeing the children, but also bracing myself for their inevitable questions.
‘Shall we have a cup of tea?’ Diane asks, walking through to the kitchen without waiting for an answer.
I glance around, giving a small shudder at the sight of the stairs. Remembering walking up them to discover my husband and Sadie. And then walking back down, my voice loud and hysterical, attracting the attention of all our friends and family. Letting them witness the ugly breakdown of our marriage. I shake away the raw memory, listening for the sound of the girls running to greet me. But apart from Diane’s neat footsteps, the house is silent. All traces of yesterday’s party removed.
In the kitchen, Diane is filling up the kettle.
‘No tea for me, thanks. Where are the girls?’
‘Sit down, Gemma. You’ve got time for a quick drink, surely?’
‘No, not really. We’ve got to get back, finish homework and get ready for school tomorrow.’
‘Robert’s taken the girls out for breakfast.’
I stiffen, my mind immediately leaping to conclusions. Are they out with Sadie? Are they already making up a new family without me? ‘Where have they gone? Are they at Crumbs? I can go and pick them up from there.’ I turn to leave.
‘No!’ she says, a little too quickly.
‘What do you mean,no?’
‘I just mean, they’re not at Crumbs. Robert said he was taking them to a beach café, but he didn’t say which one.’
‘No problem, I’ll call him.’ I pull my phone out of my bag.
‘Just let them have their breakfast, Gemma. They’ll be back in half an hour. Surely you can wait that long.’ Diane gets out two china cups and saucers from a glass-fronted cabinet. I reluctantly sit at the table, realising she wants to use this opportunity to talk to me. To make me see things from Robert’s point of view. She’ll be wasting her breath. But perhaps I can find out what she knows about Sadie.
‘What did Robert say to you?’ I ask. ‘Did he tell you what happened?’
‘Of course. And I must say, Gemma, you’re completely overreacting. Nothing happened between them.’
‘So you haven’t spoken to Sadie?’ I say, folding my arms across my chest.
‘No. I believe my son when he says nothing happened. I’m not about to start cross-examining the nanny!’
