“Yes.” He kisses the top of my head then leads me the rest of the way, pulling out a chair for me. He takes the seat next to it, holding onto my hand. If he wasn’t anchoring me right now, I fear I’d float away and be lost forever.
A very somber silence falls over the table as we all hang our heads and avoid eye contact. My eyes begin to sting with tears that I try to blink away.
“Fuck,” Raef says, rising. “I’m getting a round.”
No one protests as he walks away.
I glance at Daegan’s side profile as he looks out the window—his perfect, narrow, straight nose, his full lips, long lashes, and the small freckle on his cheekbone. I’m too numb to feel much right now, but sitting close to him, his hand wrapped around mine like he’ll never let go, helps a little.
He looks over and meets my eyes, and something far stronger than lust washes over me. Something that scares me. Because despite everything today, I can’t stop thinking about how he’s always there when I’m scared or shaken or sick, making sure I’m okay. Even from a distance, I felt it—how he always noticed.
He squeezes my hand and then looks away as Raef returns, slamming five drinks on the table.
I grab one immediately. “Thank you,” I say weakly.
He nods, giving me a rare closed-mouth smirk rather than his usual full, toothy grin.
“To Gaethri,” Rhydra says with a passionate voice.
“To Gaethri,” we all echo.
“May he be at peace with his fallen loved ones now,” Meela says quietly, but loud enough we all hear it. She’s staring off at nothing, lost in her own tortured thoughts.
Another long, reverent silence falls over the table.
I take a large gulp, then glance at my anchor beside me. My eyes go blurry, and I have to blink the tears away a few times to refocus.
His brow pinches in concern. “You okay?”
Without thinking, I reach for the back of my head and rub it.
He tracks the movement and reaches out to do the same. “You hit your head?”
I lift my head to nod, but it suddenly feels incredibly heavy. I had forgotten all about hitting it in the chaos.
“How do you feel?”
I give him a look, saying nothing.
“Right,” he says, rubbing a hand down his face. We’re all exhausted and feeling shitty, I’m sure. Head injury or not.
“I think it’s fine, honestly. I’m just… you know. Tired.”
He nods. “Once again, you were fucking incredible out there.” He shakes his head, as if I just keep surprising him. In a good way, I guess. I don’t feel so good about it, though.
“I froze. If I had gotten up right away, maybe I could have saved him.”
Daegan shakes his head with fervor. “No. You can’t start thinking about the what-ifs. It will drive you crazy. You did amazing. You did your best.”
“I guess…” I pause, glancing at my hands. “It’s weird… I thought I felt rested and recharged when I woke up this morning, but… when I went to use my magic today, it felt weak.”
Daegan mulls that over.
I sense Meela listening in from across the table now too. “That book did say that when you really drain your magic, it can take a while to recover,” she comments.
“True. I guess I just assumed it was replenished since I felt so rested.”
“It’s probably its own thing, separate from your physical energy. You’ve never used so much before,” Meela says. “I’m sure you’ll get used to the feeling and learn what your thresholds and all that are.”
