I exhale slowly, letting my gaze drift, then I can’t stop myself from looking at her.
Naia sits across the fire, slightly off to the side and not quite part of the group, but not completely on her own either. She’s watching quietly like she’s trying to figure out where she fits in all of this, or if she even does.
A few of the others glance at her now and then, not as openly hostile as before, yet not relaxed either. They’re well aware that our connection isn’t simple, and they won’t get anywhere by encouraging me to take her elsewhere, so they deal with it. This hangout wouldn’t be happening otherwise.
Sera hasn’t said a word to her, and I doubt she will. Fern’s asleep in her arms now, so small and completely unaware of the tension sitting just beneath the surface. At her occasional coos, Sera rubs her back while Luke watches over them both, always vigilant and protective even while enjoying the night away.
Without a doubt, I know that Naia notices, even though she doesn’t react much. Instead, she leans back slightly with her arms resting loosely in her lap, expression neutral. She likely wants to be anywhere else, but she’s holding her ground anyway, like she always does.
Something in my chest tightens at the thought.
She shouldn’t have to do that here. She shouldn’t have to feel like an outsider just because of where she came from or the actions she once took because she was ordered to.
While I can’t exactly blame them either after everything, it still doesn’t sit right with me. It leaves my inner wolf feeling vaguely irritated and on edge, ready to step in at any point if I have to.
“Are you going to keep brooding all night, or are you actually going to join in?”
I glance over and catch Zeke watching me.
“I’m here, aren’t I?”
“Physically, yeah,” he says simply. “But mentally, that’s debatable.”
I huff a quiet breath, not wanting any of them to focus too hard on me tonight. “I’m fine.”
“Sure you are.”
Even if he could, Zeke doesn’t push it further, and he doesn’t need to because he already knows why I’ve been quieter than usual all night.
My gaze drifts back to Naia, and without me summoning it, everything from the other day crashes into me again.
I see the woods, the chase, and the way I lost control for a second. I easily recall how I felt and how it was all far too overwhelming. Tightening my grip slightly around the bottle in my hand, I try to ground myself again.
I didn’t mean to come at her like that, and I never meant to pin her down like she was something I had to overpower instead of someone I was trying to protect. I’ve been telling her that I just want to keep her safe, and that’s what I end up doing instead.
Didn’t mean to let it get that far, but the second I realized she was gone and the moment I felt the panic tugging at the bond, something else took over. Something I don’t usually let surface, and I hate that. After the fact, I almost let my base urges get the best of me, having her that close and perfectly within reach.
The last thing I want is for her to feel like she has to fight me, too. Naia has had enough of that from everyone, and I’m no exception, apparently.
Exhaling slowly, I absently rub a hand against the back of my neck and try to keep myself from getting too lost in thought, but it’s a losing battle.
She said I run back in Ashford, and that wedged itself deeper under my skin than I ever should’ve allowed it to. Part of me knows there’s some truth to it, regardless of claiming otherwise.
I left Wraith Peak to join the military. I left everything behind and didn’t look back. I never tried to fix anything, and I never tried to change it either. I left because I couldn’t handle the pack dynamics anymore, and I built something new instead.
Regardless, I wiped my hands of it, and Naia tried to do the same thing. She tried to run straight back into the fire like it was the only option she had, and that nearly sent me over the edge.
She might see it as me being controlling, but I don’t want that for her. I don’t want her stuck in that cycle, in that place, and trapped as that version of herself. I don’t want her to assume that’s all there is for her, and I sure as hell don’t want her pulling a me, as selfish as that may be.
Maybe that’s not my call to make, but now it’s not just her problem. It’s ours, whether we like it or not.
The bond hums faintly under my skin, like it’s agreeing, or reminding me that it’s there. Now, it’s an inevitable thing that exists between us, and running won’t do anything to stop it.
As Naia watches the others, she subtly moves in place and pushes a strand of dark hair back, gaze settling somewhere distant as she keeps to herself.
She looks restless, like something wild that has been contained for too long. I know she’s holding something back and is probably still pissed at me. Can’t blame her, yet I wish I could feel something warmer from her. Something that will let me know this thing isn’t one-sided.
“Zane.”
