I’ve been in high-pressure situations my entire adult life. From combat zones and extraction ops to missions where a single wrong move can get people killed.
I know what it feels like to nearly lose control, and I know how to shut it down, but this isn’t that. Because it’s not just the kiss or having sex; it’s what comes after and what I feel in the fallout.
Dragging a hand down my face, I glance over at Naia from where she lies on the other side of the bed, still awake but pretending to be asleep like she has been for the last twenty minutes. She can fake it all she wants, but I know she’s being kept awake by the same things plaguing me.
Instinctively, I want to ignore the weird, second pulse in my chest that feels foreign and completely unlike the only one that should be there. It’s enough to tell me something is off.
Not wrong or dangerous, but different.
I’ve felt attraction before. Chemistry and tension aren’t new to me, but this is something else entirely. It sits in my chest, steady, and impossible to ignore. The more I try to dismiss it or pass it off as something benign, the more it digs in.
I stare up at nothing as the realization starts to take shape.
Giving in was a spur-of-the-moment thing. It was fueled by anger and repressed resentment we’ve both been holding onto, but that was supposed to be all. We wanted release, and now, I think we’ve done something that can’t be reversed without severe consequences.
My jaw tightens, and I glance over at her again.
Naia still hasn’t moved, but I can feel the same shift in her from here, the same undercurrent threading through the space between us like something that has already taken root.
My stomach drops, and the words come out before I can stop them. “Tell me you feel that.”
Her eyes meet mine, guarded and wary as she gives up the act. She pulls the sheets around her a bit tighter. “Feel what?”
My expression and tone become completely serious. “Don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about.”
She exhales sharply and averts her gaze. “That doesn’t mean anything.”
“It does. Don’t deflect.”
“No, it doesn’t,” she insists, allowing that stubbornness to return full force, as if she didn’t just surrender to me twenty minutes ago.
“Naia.”
“We had sex, that’s it. No big deal.”
No big deal…this is far from no big deal. If I’m right, then this is literally life-changing for us, and not necessarily for good reasons.
“This is serious.”
“You’re overthinking it.”
Something in me wants to laugh, but I can’t. Not while the gravity of the situation is far greater than I ever wanted it to be.
“Trust me,” I mutter. “This is not something I’d overthink.”
At this, Naia doesn’t respond, and she doesn’t look at me, but I catch the slight hesitation in her gaze. As much as she wants to play this off, she can’t either. She’s feeling it, too.
And that’s when it clicks into place fully, unwilling to be ignored.
“Shit…” I mumble, scrubbing a hand down my face again before I sit up, feeling the sheets pool around my waist.
Finally, I feel her eyes on me, and the intensity behind her focus is more telling than she knows. She sits up too, keeping a respectful distance between us, regardless of what we just did. “What?”
I hesitate because saying it out loud makes it real and turns it into something we can’t ignore. Still, not saying it would only make it worse, even if that would likely be her preferred route.
Lowering my hand, I take a deep breath and let the words slip. “We initiated a bond, Naia.”
Naia’s expression goes completely still, and for a long moment, she considers it in stiff silence. It stretches for so long that I start to wonder if I’ve completely lost her to the overwhelming thoughts.
