That would impact anyone’s choices. It might even help explain why he’s partnering with the Russians. He’s searching for role models, for seasoned leaders in anticipation of our father’s passing. While I don’t agree, I do understand.
My father hums. “I just want you two to be happy and safe. For the family to thrive.”
“I think I know why Nino’s decided to align with the Roguilins.” I sip more of my tea to hide my frown. “Now that you’re getting better, maybe he’ll be open to talking about it.”
And talking about me. While I was content with my role before, I was never perfectly happy on the sidelines. Nino and Father both know this. Unless the Riccis shift their priorities away from traditional and patriarchal standards, though, nothing will change.
If I want to improve my lot, Father and Nino need to jump on board. Now that I’ve helped save the family, maybe they will.
“We’ve had a strong week. A breakthrough, if you will.” Father pauses to take in a few full breaths and consider his next words. “And I’m not referring to the antidote that may save my life.”
Despite my confusion, I nod. What else could he possibly be talking about?
My father sets his cup down and stares through me with honeyed eyes. “You teamed up with a man we viewed as an adversary because you relied on your instincts.”
I’m not so sure it was all instinct. The mere mention of Connor causes the space between my legs to tingle, and I issue a stern warning before recrossing them.
Maybe I should apologize. Even if we got positive results, I still went against my dad and brother. I betrayed their trust. Before I can open my mouth to do so, my father continues.
“You killed the man who was going to testify against me. Hired Connor and Danny to work with you to accomplish this hefty goal.”
I avert my gaze.
I hate that I can’t tell my father the full truth. If I did, Connor would be dead, and I’d probably get locked away for insanity.
“Caterina?”
On his gentle command, I bite my lip and meet his eyes. “Yes?”
“You killed a man, my dear.” He smiles, his eyes crinkling. “For me.”
He’s not angry. Of course he’s not. This man loves me unconditionally.
“I would do it again.” A newfound sense of bravery backs up my statement. I would still do anything for my father…I just hope I never need to prove my devotion again.
He shifts in his bed, pulling himself upward with newfound energy. “You did all of this despite our choice to go in a different direction.”
I bow my head. “I realize that was wrong.”
“No, wrong would’ve been forming an alliance with the Irish Kings after we decided against it.” He hums and taps his fingers on the bed. “You only allied yourself with Connor. A single man. You thought outside the box.”
Relief floods me. I went outside the bounds but did well, so he approves. “Thank you, Father.”
“That’s the mark of a true leader.”
Or a fantasist gone rogue.In any case, my face heats from his praise.
“I believe I’m seeing clearly for the first time in a long while.” He rests his head back against the pillow. “Seeing you clearly, my darling.”
His pride washes over me, warming me from the inside out. My father and I have always been close, but when my mother died, the bond between us doubled in strength. Since then, we’ve been inseparable.
Hearing him say this—that he’s proud, that he supports my decision, that he sees me—is almost more than I can bear. If he keeps going, I think my chest might explode.
My father clears his throat. “It’s strange and sweet, and I’m embarrassed that I haven’t understood you on a deeper level before this. I don’t know…”
Tears wet his eyes, and I spy an emotion I’ve never identified in them before.
Regret.
