Groaning, I rake a hand through my hair and collapse on the ugly blue couch.
Fuck.
Did the one thing we do best only strain our relationship even more?
Have I lost her for good?
If Cat doesn’t want me, I have no reason to stay. To fight. She’d probably reject my protection, which she desperately needs.
Whether she agrees or not, she’s getting my protection through the funeral. By that point, word should be out about the family’s change of leadership. If Nino seizes the role without a struggle, I would hope he’d at least allow her to live. But I don’t trust him to do the right thing.
I text Declan to inform him I’ll return home on Friday, after Eduardo’s funeral.
In the meantime, I can prove to all those other fuckwads that they need me too.
“You’re all going to miss me when I’m gone,” I mutter on my way to the shower.
I’ll save Cat and the whole damn city by myself. I’ll get the port back for Finn and ensure that Cat’s safe.
And I’ll require nothing in return.
Chapter 31
Caterina
This is exactly where I’m supposed to be.
Exactly where I’m supposed to be.
“Saying it twice doesn’t make it any truer.”
That little voice in my head that sounds alarmingly like Connor Gallagher’s refuses to shut up, irritating the shit out of me.
I don’t regret walking out on him.
His proposition—kill Nino before my brother kills me—was absolutely ludicrous. As such, we had nothing more to discuss.
Over the past few days, I never got the sense that Nino wanted me dead. So, I’d say thatnotmurdering him or anyone else was the wiser choice.
Believing Connor and I could engage in a healthy, committed relationship…not so much.
This probably all happened because I went and uttered the dreaded “b” word.
Boyfriend.
I blame that slip on pheromones and grief. A bad combination. No one realizes—me included—that grief takes a physical toll as well as an emotional one. I ended up consulting Google because I thought I was losing my mind.
How could I be so sad and simultaneously so obsessed with sleeping with Connor? It’s like my inhibitions took a flying leap off the Empire State Building.
My father’s funeral is days away, and I’ve had no real time to process his loss. Life goes on, though—with or without Connor—and it’s business as usual at the Ricci estate.
Today, I’m sitting in on a meeting with my brother, a handful of high-ranking capos, and Oleg Belinski.
This may not match my father’s vision for me, but it’s where I need to be. Like always, I’ll continue to support my family from the shadows.
That’s my job. My role. I’ll provide Nino with the tools he requires for success.
Most importantly, the leaders are used to seeing me here, playing my part. I’m grateful Nino’s continued to view my presence that way too.
