“I don’t forgive you for everything,” I said finally, wiping my face with the back of my hand. “Not yet. There’s still a lot I got to sit with. But I understand you more now than I did yesterday. And I’m willing to be open to starting over with you, Dad. Slow though. You gotta give me time. I need to process all of this.”
“I can do that,” he said, nodding fast, relief washing over his face. “However long you need. I’m not going nowhere.”
“What are your plans for your marriage? You can’t keep this up. You need to be honest and leave mom if that’s what you want.”
“Leave? You know it’s not that simple. It’s years, money, and time invested into my marriage. Me leaving would kill her.”
“You keeping up a double life will kill you. It’s too much lying to keep up with on a daily. Don’t you know people have the right to change their mind and no longer be in a situation that they feel doesn’t serve them? You are only hurting yourself right now. Don’t be miserable trying to make her happy. Leave if that’s not where you want to be. And as far as Lashara, I don’t respect how you two got started, but if you say you love her, I’ll have to try and be okay with it, but only when you do it the right way. You have to know, it will never look right for you to haveyour partner’s wife on your arm, but that’s not my call to make either.”
My father sat with what I had just said, and I saw his mind spinning.He nodded slowly, and we started another conversation. A part of me was feeling relieved, it was clear that I have been missing him, and didn’t want to admit it. In this moment, I appreciate it my husband for forcing me to have this shit out. For the rest of my talk, my father, continue to apologize and tell me how much he loved me. He spoke so highly of his other daughter, and wanted nothing more than for us to have a relationship. I allowed him to show me pictures, and tell me all about her. As hard as this was, it was my reality, and I had to deal with it. To have a toddler sister was insane. But, nothing about my life surprised me anymore. My seven year old daughter, had a four year old aunt. All that I could do was shake my head.. I made sure to let my father know how crazy that sounded, too, thankfully, today, we could actually laugh at that.
The doctor finished up on me not long after breakfast. She came right over like Kaseem said that she would. She cleaned my stitches out where that shank fucked me up. I really had gotten caught slippin before I put Toolie down for good.
It was crazy that niggas thought I’d let them put me down like that. Just thinking about how Demon had sent that hit on me, that shit had my blood boiling like a bitch. He wasn’t a smart nigga and he made that clear.
This shit all started cause my people pulled out of business with them. Them Brick bitches are weak as hell. Emotional ass niggas who can’t take rejection. So that means, they in the wrong business. In the game, it’s gone be a lot of deals that don’t fallthrough. Take that shit on the chin and find another plug. But nah. Them niggas couldn’t do that. So now, instead of just losing a plug, niggas gotta lose their lives too.
While the doctor cleaned me up, she didn’t say much, she wasn’t paid to and I really hated small talk anyway. She just did her job. I sat there letting her work while my mind stayed somewhere else the whole time.
On Demon and the fuck boys in his crew. My mind didn’t work like my brothers. Them niggas could function and focus on other shit while their opps was still breathing. They would get to that shit when the opportunity arise. Not me, I was thirsty for blood. I’d never been the nigga to do a lot of talking, I always let my actions speak for me. And when I did that, the whole city got painted red. Shit. That’s really how I caught that murder charge, but that’s a whole other story.
I hadn’t said much to Kaseem or Namier about what I’d been doing since I got home. Them niggas had lives and women occupying their minds. Yeah, I fell in some pussy last night cause it was my first night home. But as soon as that nut had passed, I was back in my car and making calls to handle this shit. Although I’m sure my brothers prolly said the same thing, I’m not the nigga to fall in love. I know how to make sex be strictly that. I don’t have a heart for all the other shit.
While everybody else was sitting around processing feelings, eating breakfast and having heart to hearts, I’d already put three of my own people on finding this nigga Demon. I made sure that it was quiet, off the books. Kaseem ain’t need to know every move I made, and honestly, I wasn’t sure I trusted this family right now not to slow me down. Namier had already said he wanted to catch Demon. That wasn’t happening. I was the nigga that had gotten stabbed up and could have died.
I wasn’t gonna tell Namier no better, because it would have been a back and forth that I ain’t have time for, so I let him believe that I was waiting for him.
Then after hearing what all Kaseem got going on with his wife, possible baby momma and all that other shit, I felt like it’ll be best if I took some stress off his hands with this shit.I loved my brother, and I appreciate everything that he did for me, but this wasn’t something that I could let him be in charge of. I respect him taking over the business, and I will listen to his shots on that. But this ain’t that.
—
Demon had traps all over the city. Last night when I’d left the chick that I had fucked on, I’d got wind that all of them traps had been cleared out clean like somebody tipped him off before my people got there. I’m sure if he had people on the inside, he was probably aware that I was free now. The nigga was scared, especially since he was part of the reason I was sitting in that prison, with his snitch ass. It’s a code in these streets. He went against that shit in more ways than one, and now he gotta pay.
I didn’t have time to worry about who was talking. I just needed him found.
—
My people called me a little after noon.
“Can’t find Demon nowhere and the hunt been on since last night.” he said. “Nigga’s a ghost right now. His people not even serving on their side of town. But, I did get wind that his baby moms goes to the nail shop every other Sunday. Same shop off Malcolm X, same time, going back the past four months. They said she ain’t missed one appointment yet. This is the Sunday she is supposed to be there.”
That was all I needed to hear. I told the nigga to send me a picture of the bitch. I had about two hours to get over to that side of town before I missed her. One thing I knew was that even if they weren’t together, niggas would always love their baby mommas. I needed to touch this bitch.
I knew damn well that a nigga smart enough to disappear wouldn’t still let the mother of his kid keep her routine going. I had to see this shit for myself. A part of me was expecting her to be laying low, so I had it in my mind that I would possibly not even see her today. I decided to pull up to the location I had just gotten anyway.
Before I left the house, I got dressed and made sure I was smelling good. I didn’t have a real plan, but I knew that I had to move.
When I made it to that side of town, I posted up down the block from that shop for a couple hours before she walked out. On my way over, I got a call that she was seen entering the shop. Today was my lucky day.. I had already called one of my young niggas from my burner phone and gave them the play before I had left the house. They were en route to the location I’d given them. The nigga joked about how I was fresh out, and already back to business. He was damn right.
When I pulled up to my destination, I’d sat in my car, and studied her picture so long that I knew for sure I’d recognize her ass.
She was fine as fuck, wasn’t no denying that. She was thick as hell and moved like a woman who ain’t had to worry about nothing bad happening to her yet. The way her ass strutted out the salon, I knew that she couldn’t have known her baby daddy was in the middle of a war. That told me she either didn’t knowwhat kind of man she was tangled up with, or she knew and thought that her connection to that nigga kept her protected from bad shit happening to her. If that was the case, her ass was dead wrong.
I timed it just right. I walked up as she hit the sidewalk, I let my shoulder bump hers just enough to throw her off balance, then I caught her arm before she went all the way down.
“My bad,” I said, keeping my voice easy. I had to pretend to be someone else so that my plan would work. “You good? I ain’t see you, my apologies beautiful.”
She laughed it off, said she was fine, and I watched her eyes run over me quick, sizing me up. I let her look. I needed her comfortable before anything else could happen or be said.
