Elizabeth’s gaze fell from her sister to the saucer in her hands. If she had not already finished her tea, she would have slowly sipped it to delay her confession. Since that was not a possibility, she told Jane what had passed between her and the gentleman on the morning of the wedding.
Jane was shocked. “How could he—? I cannot believe he truly loved you, if?—”
“No, neither can I,” Elizabeth interjected. She hoped to be done with the subject as quickly as possible. “I admit, it took me more than a se’nnight to come to that conclusion. It is either that or he was reminded of his pride, which I believed was his most cherished characteristic when we first met. Perhaps it was both in equal measure. Whatever the reason, he has decided I am not a worthy enough object on which to bestow his affection.”
“Lizzy, do not joke about it! It must have been incredibly distressing.” Jane’s eyes were bright with unshed tears.
Elizabeth set aside her cup and rested a hand on her sister’s arm. “None of that, please. The situation does not warrant it, and I have cried enough for both of us. But it is at an end now. I am quite determined. Itwasdifficult, but given his family’s past connexion to Wickham, I should not be surprised. If anything, I am astonished Mr Darcy ever considered marrying someone who must call that man brother.”
“You ought to have written to me.”
“I did not because, knowing you and your tender heart, you might have insisted Mr Bingley bring you home at once. I could not have that.” Elizabeth smiled. “Now, enough about disagreeable gentlemen and their even more disagreeable families. Tell me truly, sister dearest, how greatly is Mama pestering you and your darling husband? Do not deny it. You marrying Mr Bingley is the great triumph of her life. She hardly talked of anything else when you were away, and I see how she likes to show you both off whenever possible.”
Jane rubbed her bottom lip and opened and closed her mouth several times before finally responding. “Mama will…not always be so enthusiastic.”
“Do you truly believe that?” Elizabeth asked, her tone amused. “Her daughter is mistress of the largest estate in the neighbourhood. I do not believe she will let anyone forget it.”
With reluctance, Jane admitted she feared Elizabeth was correct. “I know you will not tell anyone, but Bingley and I would both prefer to not have so much attention.” She hastened to add, “Everyone is so kind, and he does like to be sociable, but…”
“It is too much. I wish there was something I could do, but you know my mother would not listen to me if I told her she should leave you to yourselves. Indeed, I have already tried.”
“I know you have, and I appreciate it. We shall go to town in the spring, and knowing that helps. I mean for you to come with us.”
Elizabeth gave an indifferent nod; she had expected as much but was not sure what she felt about being in London. She might encounter Mr Darcy there, which would be difficult, despite her resolution to forget she had ever liked him—let alone loved him. Yet, there was no better place to seek diversion, which she knew would do a great deal to improve her spirits and return her to her former cheerful self.
Nothing more was said of London that morning; after all, there were weeks to go before any specific arrangements would have to be made. Yet, in February, they received news that encouraged Elizabeth to give her enthusiastic support to leaving Meryton. Lydia had written to her mother to say she planned to make a long visit and would be at Longbourn by the end of March. Mrs Bennet was almost faint with anticipation.
Elizabeth would do just about anything to avoid seeing her youngest sister. From everything she heard of Lydia’s life, Mrs Wickham remained the silly, ignorant, selfish girl she had been before her marriage. Nothing was said of Mr Wickhamaccompanying Lydia to Hertfordshire, yet, after a day spent listening to her mother’s recitation of the many parties she intended to arrange to ensure her daughter was well-amused, Elizabeth knew she would be miserable if she remained at Longbourn.
Jane and Mr Bingley soon decided to go to London earlier than they originally intended, which had not been until after Easter.
“I shall wait to tell my mother until closer to our departure. The news about Lydia convinced me to alter our previous arrangements,” Jane explained.
“And Mama’s behaviour remains overbearing. You need not admit it, sister dearest. I know it is against your nature to criticise anyone, but I can see that you and Mr Bingley both find her fatiguing. It will only be worse when Lydia is here and my mother can show off her two married daughters at once.”
With evident reluctance, Jane concurred. “You must come with us.”
Elizabeth opened her mouth to agree, but to her own surprise, instead hesitated.
“Are you worried you might see Mr Darcy?”
After a brief pause, Elizabeth said, “Not particularly. I see now that my infatuation for him was a grave error, and he can no longer touch my heart. How could it be otherwise, once I discovered his views are exactly what I believed them to be last spring, not what I allowed myself to believe they had become in the summer?”
Her sister looked uncertain. “I shall do whatever I must to keep you apart.”
“It is generous of you to make such a promise, but you know it is impossible.” Elizabeth kissed her cheek.
“I could tell Bingley,” Jane said softly.
Elizabeth shook her finger at her sister. “You promised youwould not tell him of my history with his friend, and I shall hold you to it. I am disappointed in Mr Darcy, but he was always free to change his mind, and if he is so persuadable—if he is willing to listen to his family, as he evidently has—then I do not want him any more than he wants me. I must either allow you to destroy your dear husband’s friendship with him or accustom myself to meeting him upon occasion. I choose the latter, though I admit I hope we do not see each other often, at least at first. It will become easier with practice, as most things do. Knowing I might be uneasy in his company is why I did not immediately assure you I would go with you to town, but of course, I shall.”
“Oh, I am relieved to hear it! You know it is my wish that we shall not be separated until you find a husband who truly deserves you. Until then, Bingley and I both want you to make your home with us.”
Elizabeth embraced her, whispering her thanks. “I believe my father might have a thing or two to say about it. I shall speak to him, but only about spending the spring in London with you. We should leave any discussions of the summer and beyond until later.”
Jane nodded, and the sisters spent the next while imagining how they would amuse themselves in town.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
