Victor raised his head with understanding. This wasn’t just about Lydia; it was about Edmund trying to assuage his guilt. Victor remained diplomatic.
“I respect Lydia a great deal, and there is much to admire about her. She has added warmth to my home and wasted no time in spreading her influence. She has also shown a natural affinityfor John. The early turbulence of his life has been lessened by Lydia’s presence. I am grateful that it was Lydia who found John, rather than a woman of a shallower disposition.”
Edmund smiled widely and clasped his hands together.
“That’s wonderful to hear. I hope she feels the same way. It seems as though things could work out for the best after all. One just has to weather the storm,” Edmund said, seeming far happier than what Victor felt.
But he could agree that the storm needed to be weathered, only in his mind the storm wasn’t just the scandal. It was the marriage as well.
Victor, Lydia, Edmund, and Rose were sitting around the dinner table. They had just finished their vegetable soup, and now, a course of chicken wrapped in bacon was being brought out, served with asparagus, potatoes, and carrots. Edmund, Rose, and Lydia had provided lively conversation while Victor had mostly been sitting in silence, allowing the evening to unfold around him.
He was used to this of course, having never been the type to put himself forward in social situations. He’d always let Harry take the lead. The three of them spoke about London and shared experiences.
“Of course, I shall never spurn an opportunity to leave London. I have always wanted to live a life of adventure. I’m sure that’s something you understand, Victor,” Edmund said although he did not give Victor a chance to interject. “I’m overjoyed that I now have someone to travel with me. We recently returned from Paris, and it was such a thrilling trip.”
“It really was. It’s similar to London in a way but also entirely different. There is so much culture, and the fashion is just splendid,” Rose said.
“Although the prices aren’t. If we had spent another couple of days there, I might have become bankrupt,” Edmund chuckled. Rose shot a glance towards him.
“It wasn’t that bad, Edmund. And there’s far more to Paris than the fashion. As we stood in Notre Dame, Edmund was close to tears,” Rose said. There was a teasing gleam in her eye.
Edmund cleared his throat. “No, that’s not quite right. There was something in the air. It was all heavy with garlic and onions, you see,” he said although it was clear he was trying to cover the truth.
“Edmund, you have always been softer than you would like to admit,” Lydia teased.
Victor noticed the easy affinity Rose and Edmund shared. They were sitting close together on one side of the table. They leaned into each other, and their arms often brushed. This was in contrast to himself and Lydia. There was a chasm between them,and while he was aware of her movements and her presence, he made a concerted effort to maintain his distance.
There were no shared glances between himself and Lydia, no unspoken messages exchanged. Edmund and Rose seemed so at ease with each other, and Victor believed it would be impossible for him to feel that way about another person. It reminded him that his marriage to Lydia was nothing more than a façade.
“I’m glad you have managed to fulfil your dreams, Edmund, even if it’s not quite in the way you intended,” Lydia said. There was a slight hint of tension in her voice, and Victor wondered if this was a reference to her dreams being taken away. He bent his head and focused on his food. It didn’t sit right with him that she felt this way, but there had been no other way to handle the situation.
“I still hope to convince Rose to take an expedition to the Amazon,” Edmund said.
“You can try,” Rose warned, making it clear that he would not succeed.
Victor listened to them all speaking so passionately about their travels and their dreams. He’d never had dreams, only duty. After all that happened with his father, Victor knew that he could not relax his concentration for an instant. Then there was Harry, and now, this… it was all so much to carry on his shoulders. He did not think he would know what to do with a dream even if he had one.
“Is there anywhere in the world that has drawn your attention, Victor? Perhaps there is somewhere that you’ve always dreamed of visiting?” Rose asked.
Victor was suddenly aware that all the attention was on him. There was an uneasy feeling slicing through his stomach.
“No, nowhere,” he muttered.
“Surely there must be somewhere! The world is so big! What kind of place would you like to visit? A desert, a mountain, a jungle? Come, perhaps we could arrange a trip together,” Edmund pressed.
“I don’t think that you can simply try to convince Victor instead of me,” Rose said with good humor. Edmund shrugged his shoulders, as if to suggest that it was worth a try.
“I suppose an island somewhere might be pleasant, a deserted one. It would be peaceful to be by myself,” he decided. He noticed Lydia turn her head towards him quickly. Rose and Edmund shared a look, and an uneasy tension came over the dinner table. It was as though he had said something wrong although he wasn’t sure what that had been.
Edmund cleared his throat and waved his fork in the air as he spoke.
“We’re planning a trip to Florence soon. You two should join us. It’s hardly a jungle or a desert island, but it should beinteresting. Rose does prefer culture over nature, and the two of you should have a honeymoon,” Edmund suggested.
“I’m afraid that won’t be possible,” Victor said immediately and curtly. He dabbed the corners of his mouth with a napkin. “Such a long journey would be impossible. The duchy and the baby come first, and I cannot leave either. John was fussy enough coming here from London. I believe a trip to Italy would be intolerable.”
“He has to learn to travel at some point,” Edmund argued although Rose gave him an admonishing look. While Victor was thinking about John’s comfort, he was not a fan of sea travel. This was because of an incident when he was a boy. A boat capsized and left him floundering in the water. He had never forgotten that sense of helplessness and lack of control. He only survived because he had been rescued, and he could not risk that happening again.
It was always better to avoid risk entirely rather than mitigate it.
