Mats accepted the rejection, though his muttered, ‘We’ve done nothing to be ashamed of,’ was sharp. Then he raised his voice. ‘Ja, Pappa.’ And he gave the letter back to her and strolled out of her office, then back into the family area, contriving to carry Erik along with him as they chatted in Swedish.
Ezz was grateful to be left alone and not obliged to explain her state of shock to big, buff Erik. For the remainder of the afternoon, her mind returned not just to the letter from Julia and Iona, but to Mats’ comment that they’d done nothing to be ashamed of.
Did that mean he wouldn’t havemindedhis dad discovering him so close to Ezz? Her mind buzzed as she tried to get to grips with professional boundaries versus personal, but all she concluded was that everything in her life was changing and nothing was certain.
That evening, Mats turned up at Ezz’s cottage in Chapel Road, allowing her no opportunity to tell him not to come by messaging or phoning first. When she opened the doorand saw him, shoulders hunched against the near-arctic wind searing off the sea, her expression lightened, but she hesitated. He jigged on the spot. ‘It’s cold,’ he pointed out politely.
A smile ghosted across her fine lips. ‘Then you’d better come inside.’
He was happy to be shown into her small lounge, where the woodstove roared, orange flames licking at the glass door. Somehow it seemed a good omen when he noticed that the stove was a Swedish make. Less so when he noticed her Christmas lights were unlit. He discarded his coat and, after waiting for her to choose her sofa to sit on, he joined her on it.
‘How are you?’ He angled himself towards her. She was dressed in plum-coloured cord leggings and a thick, cream, oversized sweater. He thought he liked her better in the soft lounge wear than even in her sexy black work suits.
‘Fine.’ Her smile was perfunctory.
But he hadn’t come out into the cold to be fobbed off like an acquaintance, when nine nights ago she’d shared her body with him in one of the rooms above their heads. ‘Are you still angry with me?’
She touched her temple, as if it ached, and closed her eyes. ‘Don’t start apologising again.’ It wasn’t forgiveness, but it felt like a step in that direction.
He softened his voice. ‘Not if you don’t want me to. But is Valentina still angry?’
Her eyes remained closed, allowing him to admire the smoothness of her pale skin, and the twin fans of eyelashes resting on her satin cheeks. Her bottom lip quivered. ‘She’s not coming for Christmas. She says it’s because Thea needs a quiet time and because Barnabyhas a hectic social calendar, and that she’s not punishing me. But …’ She lifted her palm in a plain gesture of disbelief.
Morosely, he said, ‘I’m a moron not to have even allowed for the possibility that she didn’t know.’
‘Yeah,’ she agreed, but without heat.
Slowly, giving her ample time to fend him off, he slid along the cushions until he could slip an arm around her. For a moment she stiffened … then she relaxed against him. ‘I’m not going to answer the letter I showed you right away. It makes sense to me to let it settle for a day or two, but I think I will write back.’
This small confidence sent a flush of pleasure through him. Valentina and Thea were her usual confidantes, and though he knew that one was royally pissed off with her and the other absorbed in protecting the nascent life she carried, he still felt privileged that she’d volunteer something so meaningful, so delicately personal. Feeling his way, he said, ‘I thought the letter heart-warming. A straightforward reaching out.’
She looked at him from the corner of her eye. ‘It was,’ she agreed. ‘But I still feel all at sea.’
He shared both parents with his siblings, but he tried to jump into her shoes and examine how he’d feel if more brothers and sisters turned up. ‘Would interacting with Julia and Iona make you feel disloyal to Valentina and Thea?’
‘Maybe.’ Her troubled gaze settled on the woodstove, as if her future could be read in the dancing flames. ‘When Thea found her birth family it was just her mother, Ynez, who has only a partner, Jean-Jacques. No siblings.’ Her hand rose to her head. ‘And though I told Thea I wouldn’t mind if she had half-brothers or sisters, actually I was gladthat Ynez hadn’t had more children, as if Thea wouldn’t have enough love for me if she had siblings who shared her blood.’
He frowned as he mulled this over. ‘But Thea has Ynez, and her partner Dev, and now she’s having a baby. Does any of that mean she won’t have enough love for you?’
Her shoulders relaxed a shade, and she managed a faint smile. ‘No,’ she admitted. And then, as if to turn the tables by bringing up something equally personal about him, she asked, ‘This might seem an odd time to raise this, but I’m bothered about Josefin. Do you realise she has a crush on you?’
It was an unpleasant jolt. ‘Not a crush,’ he objected immediately, reviewing Josefin through this new prism and not liking the picture. Then he remembered the day at the Nature Garden Café and honesty made him add, ‘Once or twice, outsiders have taken us as a couple because we were with the children and I did think she liked that. But the liking was all on her side.’
‘That must make her sad.’ She settled herself more comfortably against him. ‘She talked about youa lotwhen she was out with me. And recently, I felt …’ She dipped her head and fiddled with the hem of her top. ‘I’m pretty sure she detected something between us and was sulking. Then she went home without even saying bye to me.’
‘Oh.’ He was dismayed. ‘She could feel that way, I suppose, and I only have her word for it that she wanted to leave because her son was unexpectedly in Sweden. When she asked if she could take some of her leave, I said of course. All my family had arrived, and it was natural that she’d want to be with her son.’ Then, spotting anopportunity, he mused, ‘Of course, Josefin’s employed byme, not my parents. Whereas you are employed bymy parentsand not me, so there was no need for you to shove me away like a muddy dog when Dad came looking for me today.’
A pink blush crept up her cheeks. ‘I didn’t shove you, I just moved. I was at work. It would have been the same with any man.’
He shrugged, as if unconvinced. ‘OK. I won’t take it personally. And my parents, my brother and my sister have all asked me whether we’re seeing each other, and I sort of said yes, hoping that we were. Word’s obviously been getting around. They all wanted to talk to you when you came forfika.’
She rose vertically and landed facing him, her face a mask of horrified astonishment. ‘You “sort of said yes”? Is this your impetuosity again? Iworkfor your parents, Mats. That’s … that’s …’
‘Honest?’ he supplied helpfully.
‘Outrageous,’ she corrected him. But then, as if unable to resist: ‘How did everyone react?’
He grinned. ‘Just, “Oh, OK.” And, “Seems nice”. Dad said, “She is very pretty”, in an “I’m not surprised” kind of voice.’ He sobered, running his fingertips over her cheek. ‘Mum pointed out that we live in different countries, but she was reminding me, rather than being against you.’
