Chapter Eighteen
Friday the thirteenth might traditionally be an unlucky day, but for Ezz it meant the first ray of light in the entire week when Thea rang.
She sounded breathless, but her voice was lighter. ‘I haven’t bled for several days. We’ve had another scan, and we still have a heartbeat, so the hospital says I can come home. We’ve got the Airbnb until Tuesday seventeenth, so that’s when we’ll drive up.’
Ezz had to blink back tears. ‘That’s the best news,’ she said thickly. ‘You sound happier.’
‘Cautiously optimistic,’ Thea confirmed, with the breath of a laugh. ‘Dev’s treating me as if I’m made of antique crystal, his mum and grandpa have bought me flowers and his nieces made me get-well cards. I’ve been told to see my GP for a sick note until after Christmas,’ she finished apologetically.
‘Very sensible,’ Ezz replied firmly, to quash any guilt. ‘Grete and Erik will only care that the baby’s OK.’
‘That’s great.’ Thea sounded relieved. ‘Valentina’s just called, so she already knows things are looking better. We were chatting about her having been around my age when she was pregnant with Barnaby. Luckily, they didn’t have any issues.’
Ezz listened for any hint of alarm in Thea’s voice, but detecting none, felt comfortable that Valentina hadn’t told Thea she knew the truth about the accident or that she and Ezz had quarrelled. At least one relationship seemed intact. She ended the call feeling glad about that, at least.
As it was Orla’s last day, Ezz had bought her chocolates and presented them to her with a hug. ‘Thanks for all your work during your time at Rothach Hall.’
‘Oh, my goodness.’ Orla smiled, though her eyes were bright with tears. ‘Mrs Larsson has already given me flowers and a card, and Gwen gave me Skye shortbread from the Nature Garden Café to remind me of home.’ She had to pause and blow her nose. ‘I feel so bad at leaving when you haven’t got an assistant manager either. But my husband’s job—’
‘You’re doing the right thing for you,’ Ezz said, with a huge smile she didn’t feel. ‘I’ll be fine.’
She waited until evening, when she was home in her cosy cottage, to call Valentina, timing her call for when Barnaby would be in bed. Attempting to thaw the frost between them, she began, ‘Great news about Thea, isn’t it?’
Valentina sounded tired. ‘Better, anyway.’ Before Ezz could try and improve on this stiff start, she went on crisply. ‘But her situation cements my decision not to come to Rothach for Christmas. Thea needs to be quiet and there are Christmas activities that Barnaby will missout on if we’re away.’ She didn’t even mention Hogmanay celebrations, which had once been planned to be at Valentina’s, but had seemed forgotten lately.
Ezzie’s heart plummeted so hard it made her queasy. ‘Not come?’ she repeated. ‘Not even for a couple of days? You’re serious?’
‘I think it’s better.’ Valentina might have been talking to Gary about whether to switch their brand of coffee, for all the emotion in her words.
Ezz’s own voice quavered. ‘You’re punishing me? Or you don’t want to stay with me and now you can’t stay with Thea?’
‘It’s not because of you.’ But Valentina’s words lacked conviction. ‘I’ve given my reasons.’
‘Have you told Thea?’ Every word stung Ezz’s throat. ‘Did she believe you?’
Valentina answered with a vague: ‘Of course. But I asked her to leave it to me to tell you.’
‘Well. OK.’ Ezz knew she sounded as glum as Eeyore. After a silence, which Valentina made no effort to fill, Ezz said goodbye. She sat on her sofa for several minutes, gazing at the wall.
Valentina wasn’t coming for Christmas.
It seemed tough on Thea, who was at risk of being collateral damage from the sudden cracks in Ezz and Valentina’s relationship. Happily, her focus would be on her pregnancy and with luck, this would be the last Christmas morning that she and Dev would wake up alone.
It had been a beautiful wintry Skye day, clear and frosty and, as happened so often, Ezz had found little opportunity to be outside and enjoy it. Now, unable to bear theconstraints of the familiar walls, she dressed warmly and strode out into the dark evening, where frost gave every twig a white glittering coat and iced-over puddles waited like traps for the unwary. The Jolly Abbot looked very jolly indeed, festooned with coloured lights, every window in the pub ablaze, but Ezz turned away, fearing the comfort she might let herself indulge in there – a large glass of wine. Or three.
First, she crossed the village to Loch View. Thistledome was dark and deserted but she had a key, so she went in to check that everywhere was clean and tidy for Thea’s return. On the kitchen table lay a note in Valentina’s handwriting.Stripped the bed and put on clean sheets. Emptied the bin. Thanks for letting us use your lovely home. See you soon. Loads of love, V Xxx
It sounded like the real Valentina: brisk but warm and loving. Nothing like the stiff, angry Valentina who was showing herself to Ezz. A sudden, fierce longing for their normal relationship grabbed her by the heart and she paused to ride the wave of pain. She checked around the house, but Valentina seemed to have left nothing for her to do, so she let herself out.
Loch View was so high up in the village that she paused to admire the moonlight on Rothach Bay, silvering the black sea in a wandering path that fanned out towards the shore. She lifted her gaze higher, to the black velvet sky spangled with an impossible number of stars, twinkling and blinking back at her like diamond dust. She remembered her whimsical idea that there was a constellation called Birth Family of which she was part. Two other stars in her constellation were now known to her – Rick and Kay, whose teenage passion had accidentally created her life – and she had names for twomore, Julia and Iona. A constellation was small compared to the galaxy, the universe, and anything bigger than that, but each individual star was beautiful, shimmering down on the Isle of Skye and one lone woman feeling sorry for herself.
Finally, she roused from her reverie and crunched away down the frosty lanes to her warm but empty home.
Ezz remained on duty all weekend. The rest of the Larssons arrived late on Sunday afternoon and she was on hand to greet dark-haired Maja and blond Nils with their children Walter, Liam and Ronja. While Astrid and Alvin raced around in a fever of excitement and Mats and his parents exchanged beaming hugs with the new arrivals, Ezz unobtrusively unloaded luggage from the hire car. Mats came to help, and she thought she felt his hand brush her back. She didn’t look his way, but just drove the now empty car to the parking place behind the hall. A few minutes later, Jonas and Ebba, Emil and Filip bowled up the drive, tooting the car horn and waving through the windscreen. Ezz did the ‘greet then fade into the background’ thing again.
Astrid was loud in her excitement, and everyone chattered in Swedish, which only added to Ezz’s sense of exclusion.
The family made a laughing group, carting what luggage Ezzie hadn’t already hauled up the steps. This time, before she could move the car, Mats approached. ‘Please join us forfika,’ he said, giving coffee and cake the Swedish name. ‘Mum asked Gwen to provide us with something yummy.’
