Chapter Fourteen
Sunday morning saw Ezzie sitting in her office, working. The agency hadn’t yet offered any suitable candidates to replace Orla. They’d advertise again along with the seasonal positions in the New Year, she decided, and made a list of three grounds staff, two part-timers to share the ticket office, and another on housekeeping because the public rooms needed more attention with increased visitor traffic. Intending to pass a copy to Gwen in case she knew any locals who might be interested, instead of stretching to catch the paper as it churned from the printer, she rose to her feet. Her eyes were irresistibly drawn to the view. Morning mist lay over the park like gauze scarves and she could only see halfway down the drive. But her gaze snapped to a familiar figure at the top of the drive, a man wrapped in a dark overcoat, gazing at the hall. A shred of mist wafted over him, making him look faded, like an old photograph.
Her stomach somersaulted. Rick Colville. Her birth father.
Ezz watched for a long minute. He didn’t move. Why was he here? Something to do with her, obviously. Where was Kay?
After another moment, Ezz realised she needed answers to those questions. She turned away and took down her long black coat and went out, tapping slowly down the stone steps in her heels.
He smiled a greeting. ‘Lovely place,’ he observed, returning his gaze to the hall’s façade. ‘Most of Skye’s stately homes and castles seem to be ruins.’
‘They are,’ she answered cautiously, feeling the mist’s chill slide across her skin. ‘Armadale. Knock. Dunvegan. Mr and Mrs Larsson restored Rothach.’
‘Done a good job.’ He cast her a fleeting glance, then returned his gaze to the hall with its tall windows set in grey stone. ‘Love that turret. I’ve been lucky enough to work on a couple of restoration projects in Warwickshire. I think I’d have liked to be a draughtsman or an architect, if I’d stayed on at school. Missed out on university, as I told you.’
After their last, emotional meeting, it seemed surreal to be standing here with him in gentle conversation. ‘I went to uni, but I partied more than studied.’ Deliberately she added, ‘My parents died when I was twenty. It was my second year at uni, as I’d taken a gap.’
That got his attention. He swung his eyes to hers, sucking in his breath. ‘I had no idea your parents died so young. I’m so sorry, pet. Were they good people? Tell me about them.’ Tears gathered in his eyes.
As she’d thought he might be stiff or offended, his sympathy wrong-footed her. She mumbled a few sentences about how wonderful Maxie and Vince had been, about Maxie’s long auburn hair and Vince’s wild curls, andMaxie having a good business head and Vince being the emotional one. ‘I always went to him when I was sad, and he’d play his guitar and sing,’ she said, not sure whether she was letting Rick know that she hadn’t needed him and Kay … or that she’d been loved.
Gently, he smiled. ‘They sound great. I’m glad.’
Confused at the mixture of feelings this generated, she turned away to gaze down the drive to where the stone bridge was just about in sight. She knew birth parents often wondered what had become of the child they’d given up and remembered Kay’s letter saying she was relieved to know Ezzie had grown up in a warm, loving family, even if she and Rick hadn’t been able to provide that. Forher. They’d provided it not long afterwards for Juliet and Iona. ‘I thought you’d left the island,’ she said abruptly.
‘We stayed for a bit, in case you reached out.’ His tone was conversational, and not accusing. ‘We wanted to feel near you for a while. We’re leaving today. We’ll drive for five or six hours then get a motel and do the rest on Monday. Kay doesn’t know I’m here, because I said I was going out to get fuel while she packed. I wasn’t sure about bothering you at work – or whether you’d even be here on a Sunday – but I wanted to explain something.’ Finally, he removed his gaze from the marching windows of the hall and faced her, his gaze as blue-eyed and direct as her own. ‘Kay’s mum. She was more than a difficult woman. Her rages … well she was an alcoholic, and Kay was frightened of her. Kay’s so sweet and shy—’ His voice wavered, and he paused to swallow.
A feeling crept over Ezz, as cold as the mist. She had to swallow hard. ‘I used to be a heavy drinker, after I lost Mum and Dad. But I was over-affectionate when I drank.’
A wistful smile touched his mouth, his blue eyes watery.‘I wish Kay’s mother had been. Still. Try not to judge Kay too harshly.’
Was that a note of reproof? Fresh anger bubbled up inside her. Tightly, she said, ‘Tell me about your daughters.’
If he caught her intention to nettle him by not acknowledging that she was one of his daughters herself, he didn’t show it, but continued in the same even, gentle way. ‘Iona’s an art teacher. Julia’s a beauty therapist. Iona’s got a little girl. Edina. She’s four.’
He spoke so fondly that Ezzie felt unexpected tears crowding behind her eyes. Rather than try and make sense of her tangled emotions, she went on, ‘And your parents?’
A grin lifted his pink cheeks. ‘A bit creaky now, but alive. And my two brothers—’
Brothers? She had uncles too, and probably aunts and cousins. ‘Do they know you’re here, all this family?’ she broke in, watching his face carefully. ‘Julia? Iona? Your parents?’
His face fell. After a pause, he gave a tiny shake of his head.
‘So, you’re still ashamed of the teen pregnancy you caused.’ She took a step away, reluctant to let him see her pain. ‘Thanks for coming. Safe journey.’
‘Esmerelda. Ezz!’ he called after her.
‘Got to get back to work,’ she flung back, and took the curving stone steps so fast that she almost pitched onto her face and had to fling out a hand for balance.
By the time she’d regained her desk and checked out of the window, he was trudging back down the drive, head down. Then he merged with the mist and disappeared. Stupefied, she attempted to gather her scattered thoughts. Her grandmother had had alcohol problems? Ezz had known there could be a hereditaryfactor with alcohol abuse, but it was hard to feel sympathy for anyone but Esmerelda Wynter right now. She dropped her head to her hand and covered her eyes, trying to think.
If there had been the first stirring, the tiniest thread of connection to Rick, it had faded when he admitted he and Kay hadn’t told her sisters or grandparents that they’d tracked her down.They must be ashamed of her.Then she thought of Rick’s obvious relief to know she’d been loved.Or they were just clearing their consciences.
Even whirled around by emotions, she knew she might be being unfair, but all she could do wasfeel.
Sucking in a huge breath, she removed her hands and wiped mascara from beneath her lashes with her fingers. TheGhost KingdomTV show constantly advocated counselling, so feelings at a range of outcomes could be talked through and examined before meetings like the one she’d just been through. What it didn’t advocate was birth parents throwing themselves into your life like flames into a box of emotional fireworks.
She longed to talk it over with Thea and Valentina, but they were both so wrapped up in their own happiness – Thea with her baby and Valentina with her second home in Fishermen’s Cottages. She hadn’t wanted to interrupt their joyful chatter with, ‘And, about me …’ That wasn’t Ezzie. Ezz was strong and organised and self-sufficient. Ezzie had known all her life that she was adopted, so she could deal with Rick and Kay’s appearance. Even with the knowledge of having been poor unwanted Lindy Loveless.
