She swallowed what felt like a golf ball. ‘When did webecome friends?’ Refusing to let him see her wipe the tears from her eyes, she blinked and hoped the moisture would evaporate.
‘I’dliketo be your friend. I’m concerned about you.’ Then, when she didn’t reply he asked softly, ‘Is it Thea? Mum reminded me that she had trouble with a man. Is he threatening her? Has she done something he can blackmail her with? As long as my family won’t be hurt by whatever she’s done—’
The reflex to protect Thea sprang to life. ‘It was me,’ she snapped. Then she clapped a hand to her mouth, appalled the words had escaped, after all the years of pretending, bending the law, hiding the truth. She tried to retract. ‘Thea was protecting me, but it’s nothing to you. It won’t harm you, your kids or other family.’ Again, she swallowed. ‘I’d like you to leave. I’m sorry if our resignations are inconvenient.’
She might as well not have asked him to go. He carried on doggedly. ‘If it’syou, why’s Thea so petrified of being on camera? If she’d just said, “Thanks, but I’m not interested inGarden Gladiators” I’d have let the approach drop. But she was hostile to the point of rudeness. As were you.’
He paused and shifted his gaze, as if the mist didn’t exist and he could look along Chapel Road at the cottages climbing up the bowl in which the village stood, up to the copse hiding the footpath to Rothach Hall. ‘I feel like crap,’ he continued quietly. ‘Because I acted – no,reacted– like a jerk, only concerned for me and mine.’ He smiled faintly, disarmingly. ‘But we have agreed that I’m an entitled asshole.’
‘Arsehole,’ she corrected, feeling the tiniest drop of tension ease away. She found a tissue in her pocket and blew her nose. She thought of Thea, Dev and Valentinawaiting in the dirty little cottage that was soon to be transformed into Valentina’s gorgeous retreat and that she and her family would be here so much more often than presently, when she lived full-time in Inverness, miles away.
And she thought about Thea on the brink of leaving Skye. With bone-deep certainty she knew that despite it being convenient for Dev to work from somewhere more central, he loved Thea too much to ask her to leave Thistledome if it could be avoided, because it was going to rip out her heart. The name of the cottage was a play on words meaning ‘This’ll do me’ and Thea hadn’t changed it when she bought the little home. Ezzie sighed. If she took the risk of trusting Mats Larsson with the truth, then there was a chance that Thea – and Ezzie – could keep their jobs. All that would happen was that one more person would be in on the secret.
Except … ‘It’s possible that if I explain, even if you accept my explanation, that then you’d run off and tell Grete and Erik and all your family. No doubt they’d tell others, and it would be common knowledge. That’s not an option.’
He rocked on his heels while he considered. ‘In your opinion, do they need to know? Will it hurt them not to?’
Her turn to consider, the mist chilling her face. ‘I don’t think so. But then I don’t think you need to know either. If I’m the trusted employee of long standing that you suggest, you should accept my word that I’m not a danger.’
A frown puckered his brow. ‘This is just swordplay. I’d prefer you to acceptmyword that if I agree with you that Mum and Dad don’tneedto know, I’ll keep your secret.’
Ezz wavered and wondered. If they ran again, she and Thea wouldn’t just be leaving behind their lives on thiswonderful island, they’d be leaving without a fight. And if Mats felt compelled not to keep her confidence … well, then running away would still be an option. But there was a chance. She felt as if he wanted her to take it.
She turned to her front door. ‘You’d better come in.’
In silence, he removed his coat and hat to hang in the hall. His coat was cherry red and expensive-looking. She took him into the kitchen. ‘Mind the step,’ she said automatically as she stepped down from the hall, all too familiar with unwary guests entering the kitchen in an ungainly sprawl.
Her small kitchen table stood against a wall, so the two black shiny chairs faced each other. Without offering a coffee or other hospitality she took one seat and indicated that he take the other. Her home was bigger than Thea’s, but not by much. They’d shared the house when they’d first come to Rothach, before Thea had felt settled and stable enough to move into Thistledome, so that they each had a place of their own. The memory of their cautious optimism that they’d found forever homes prompted fresh tears to prickle in her eyes.
‘I’ll just text Thea to say I’ve been delayed.’ Quickly she stabbed out on her phone screen,Mats has turned up. Stay there. Tell Valentina I’m on a work call.The terse message would cause a jolt in Thea’s heart, but Ezz knew she’d do exactly as asked, trusting her sister to know what she was doing, just as Ezz would have trusted her if their roles were reversed. Silencing her phone, she stuffed it into her pocket and lifted her gaze to Mats’ eyes, as silvery as the wintry sea.
Heart thudding, she felt as if she was about to put all her money on one number on the roulette wheel. ‘About ten years ago, in England, I was driving Thea’s car and hita cyclist,’ she said tersely. ‘He’d stopped around a blind bend and had been impossible to avoid, but I panicked. I’d been partying the night before and thought I’d still be over the legal drink-drive limit. I … I’d served a ban for drink-driving before. Though the cyclist accepted the blame, I would have gone to prison because he received life-changing injuries – that’s the law. As it happened in an isolated spot, it was possible for Thea to say she was the driver and pass the breathalyser test. Later, the cyclist kept involving Thea in his life because she was onGarden Gladiatorsand had a following, which he wanted to tap into. At first it was just a road safety campaign, which Thea was happy to help with, but then he reinvented himself as a social media influencer and became a nuisance. We were nervous about the attention, so left our old jobs and relationships and started again up here.’
Her hands had curled into fists as she talked but she tried to relax them, concentrating on Mats’ face.
His fair brows knitted above his eyes, causing furrows on his forehead. ‘That’s everything?’ he asked unemotionally.
She tried to be objective and factual. ‘That’s the crime – covering up a crime is a crime. But then in the summer, the cyclist discovered where Thea was and when she wouldn’t join him in a fresh social media campaign, he claimed to have remembered that it wasn’t Thea driving. When someone discredited him, he gave up.’ The someone had been Dev, who’d put a lot on the line to create the illusion that the truth was a lie, but there was no way she’d expose him when he’d done it for Thea. ‘So, we thought it was finally behind us, until the production company forGarden Gladiatorscontacted you.’
His brows lifted a fraction. ‘I see why you reacted sonegatively to my enthusiasm over them filming Thea at Rothach Hall.’
She nodded.
He sighed, sinking back in his chair and rubbing his forehead. ‘Who’s the Fredek I heard you mention?’
‘The cyclist.’ Fatigue swept her, not just from the tumultuous day yesterday but from living with a decade of fear and regret. ‘Just to be clear, if you feel compelled to share this information with the police and they can prove the case, Thea and I will be in deep shit, because the punishment for perverting the course of justice can be stiff. You might think that’s what we deserve, of course.’ Ice formed around her heart at the thought.
‘I see.’ He gazed at her contemplatively. ‘And your remarks about having an unhealthy relationship with alcohol … ?’
She understood that he was asking for full disclosure. ‘After my parents died, I drank too much and became dependent. I told you the truth that I’m not an alcoholic, because I was never diagnosed. As far as I know, I was just a heavy drinker. After the accident, I stopped. What if Ihadbeen over the limit? What if ithadbeen my fault? What if I’d killed someone?’ She took a steadying breath. ‘But sobriety’s hard. Unfortunately, alcohol’s all too bound up with celebrations, with gifting, with unwinding. What works for me is to try to be in control of when I’ll encounter it. I’m always scared I’ll slip back into letting drink affect my life.’
‘And I ambushed you when I asked you to take Josefin into a pub.’ Understanding shone in his eyes.
‘That’s right.’ Wearily, she leant her forehead on her hand. ‘But in view of everything else, it doesn’t really matter.’
While he sat silently, looking too large for the chair, brow furrowed, her gaze roved aimlessly around her kitchen. The units and worktop were tired but serviceable. It had been her home all through the years of half-expecting the past to catch up with her and spoil the peace she’d found here on Skye. Despite Thea buying Thistledome, Ezz had clung to the reassurance that a rented home made it easy to move on. But once Fredek had been vanquished, and even before Valentina had dropped her bombshell about buying a cottage here, Ezzie had entertained thoughts about giving up her status as tenant. There was a cottage for sale on Friday Furlong, which would have a stonking view of the bay. She’d even conjured up a cute name for it – Heaven’s Haven. Pipe dreams now, probably, to plan a kitchen and decide on palest sage green for the outside walls.
She closed her eyes, dreading that Mats Larsson would call the police and inform them what she’d confessed to. No matter how much it was her word against his, she and Thea could be called for interview. Fredek would almost certainly get a chance to renew his accusations. Any attempt to make the police think the evidence was circumstantial and anecdotal would entail repeated denials and lies. Lies. Her life had been filled with them for a decade.
When would it ever end?
