‘What do you think of that, then?’
‘Bryony’s news?’ she asked, cautiously.
‘Yeah.’ He shook his head. ‘She’s pregnant by some guy she has almost no chance of getting any cash or help out of.Pregnant. I can’t believe it. What the fuck was she thinking? Doesn’t she carry condoms? And the way she announced it, as if she expected us all to rally round.’
‘People get pregnant all the time. Contraception fails – ’
‘’Specially if you don’t use it.’
Ignobly, Tamzin felt a burst of happiness. All evening she’d dreaded discovering that George’s affection for Bryony was more than cousinly, but it seemed that George was more irritated than enthralled.
‘You have to be careful,’ he insisted. ‘You just have to be careful. I’m always careful. Aren’t you?’
Tamzin nodded. ‘I used to be on the pill but I haven’t … there hasn’t been anyone. Since uni.’
Slowly, George turned towards her. ‘You haven’t since uni?’
In the darkness, the air felt as if somebody had charged it with static electricity. ‘I told you about having a bad time,’ she whispered.
George didn’t move but still somehow seemed to get closer. ‘Has your doctor or therapist told you not to?’
A nervous giggle. ‘Of course not.’
He laughed, too; low, husky. ‘That’s a good start, then.’ He slid his arms around her. Very softly, gently, he kissed her. ‘Did you hate sex?’ he whispered, his mouth touching hers.
‘No.’ Her heart broke into a canter.
‘Did you like it?’ His hand stroked her back, and she shivered.
‘Sometimes,’ she croaked.
He laughed again. ‘I’d like it with you. Do you think you might like it with me?’
She shivered. ‘I might.’
He nuzzled her neck and let his hand glide down her back to her hip. ‘I think you would. I think it would be amazin’. You don’t have to. But I really want to, Tamz.’
She felt giddy and panicky all at once. ‘I haven’t got anything.’
‘I have. I’m always careful. It’s all right if you don’t want to – but I totally want you to want to.’
She giggled again as he kissed her ear, her heart soaring at the heady experience of being the object of desire. ‘I think I want to.’
They drove out to a place near one of the lakes, a place George knew – there was no way it was going to work out in Tamzin’s little hatchback with somebody George’s height. By the time they were lying on the bumpy grass together, she was shivering.
George crushed her in his arms as if he was doing his damnedest to become part of her. ‘You can change your mind, Tamz, if you don’t want to do it.’
‘I think I want to but … you know. What happened before.’
‘Pretend it’s the first time,’ he whispered. ‘It’s something amazin’ and new, just for us.’
He was gentle and slow, his fingertips fluttering over her like butterflies, sealing her and him into a world of dewy grass and twilight where her skin tingled and her body melted. ‘It’s the first time. Just the first time.’
‘The first time,’ she agreed. Fears slithered away, taking all those hurtful old images with them. This was the first time. And it was amazing.
Chapter Twenty-Four
It nearly killed Diane to admit it to herself as she stood on Freddy’s doorstep on a storm-darkened Sunday afternoon. But her father had been right about Gareth.
