Conan, my mom’s best friend and the man who has loved Tiernan and me more than our father ever did, has been shot.
Shai’s mom, Kat, was also shot.
We have no idea if the cops will be involved or how that will be dealt with, but I know it will be. It always is.
Ollie is a mess, so I’m the one who drives us there.
I’ve always been good at keeping it together, at doing what needs to be done, regardless of the situation. I learned that from my mom. I know people think my father killed the sunshine in her, and maybe in some ways he did, but I know better. She did what she had to do to survive, and I always will, too.
Growing up as the daughter of Sloan O’Shea and spending all my time with Tiernan, Cillian, and Rory, I’ve always had to be strong. I never wanted to be left behind, didn’t want to be the weak link. I always had to prove myself more than the boys did, be stronger than the boys were, and try harder than the boys needed to just to be taken seriously. When my father was alive,he treated me like I couldn’t take care of myself, and I never want anyone to treat me that way again.
That’s something my mom can understand, too. Being a woman in this organization is the same for her.
We make it there after the crew, and it’s chaos. The doctor we pay to take care of us is already there, busy with both Conan and Kat.
Ollie immediately goes to Cillian, who wraps him in his arms, holding Ollie close while whispering in his ear.
Tiernan is with Dean.
Rory and Shai have disappeared.
My mom is sitting by Conan’s bed, who pretends he doesn’t need her there, but really, he’s in love with her and always has been. Mom knows that, but she doesn’t feel the same.
Apparently, it had been a bloodbath—a shootout at an old house in the middle of nowhere, and there are a lot of dead bodies to handle. Some of the guys are making plans on how to deal with the aftermath of this. Some are already there taking care of it. Everyone has a job…a person,something…other than me.
I slip away into my room upstairs and climb into bed. I’m fully clothed, shoes and everything, but right now, I can’t find it in me to care.
I pull out my phone, look at the messages I sent Zuri about my family emergency, because I didn’t even call her to cancel our date, and wish she were here with me, wish I could call her and tell her everything that happened tonight.
This is the first time I’ve realized how much I want my person, too.
CHAPTER TWO
Zuri
Something is goingon with Ash, and it’s starting to piss me off.
I’ve cycled through confusion and sadness, and now I’m at anger.
It’s not that she’s done anything huge, but something is different. She’s canceled two dates, which sucks, but I get that life happens. Still, it’s hard to ignore how muchlife happenswhen it comes to her, and how much she’s keeping from me. I can handle a whole lot of things, but lying isn’t one of them, and neither is how much she’s been avoiding me since she came back from Boston this last time.
It’s only been a week, but we haven’t gone on another date, and haven’t slept over at each other’s dorms. She’s distant, in her head, and won’t sharewhywith me.
I have an idea, of course. How can I not? I might not have heard of the O’Sheas before coming to Ashford U, but I know who they are now. A crime family, if rumors and the internet are correct—and I can’t pretend that’s not scary—but Ash is…Ash.
The one I want to be my person. The one I’ve opened up to about spending my life alone—about bouncing around from foster home to foster home after the house fire that took my parents when I was twelve. How I went for a sleepover and left with a loving family, and then the next day, they were gone.
Those feelings of loneliness are not something I’ve shared with anyone, but I shared them with her, and now she’s doing the one thing that hurts me the most—leaving me in the dark.
I watch as the printer in the library continues to shoot out the flyers I’ve been working on. There was a report of an attempted sexual assault on campus while Ash was gone. It’s a topic that’s important to both of us. Ash teaches self-defense classes for this very reason, and any other time, she would be here with me, printing these flyers, planning this rally with me, trying to get the school to do more to protect its students, but I haven’t even told her what I’m doing…and in my defense, she hasn’t been around enough to ask.
Once they’re done printing, I put them all in a bag with my other supplies and head out to start hanging them around campus. I wouldn’t be surprised if the dean has something to say about it. He seems like a dick who buries his head in the sand and pretends none of the bad shit that goes on around campus is happening.
Like the rampant drug dealing, which I know Ash’s brother and friends run…
I’m not supposed to be okay with that. I don’t think Iamokay with that, but then, it’s not Ash doing it. She can’t help who her family is.
Maybe there’s a little bit more of a conflict going on in my head than I realize.
