“Of course.” He pushes his glasses up his nose.
“I need to take a shower,” Zuri says, the second we’re upstairs in my room.
“Yeah. Whatever you need. Do you want to be alone, or do you want me to take one with you?” I ask her. Whatever she needs, I’ll do. I can’t imagine what she’s been through tonight. I know it will hit us both later, a wave of emotion once our brains come out of protection mode.
“With me.” She takes my hand and leads me to the bathroom. We strip and get into the shower, but there’s nothing sexualabout the moment. It’s just about taking care of each other and being close.
I wash Zuri, and she washes me.
I dry her off, and she dries me.
When she tries to put her bonnet on, and her hands shake, I take it and do that for her, too. Then we’re in bed, the room mostly dark, other than the lamp on the nightstand beside us, arms locked tightly around one another as though someone will try to take us away from each other.
“That was so scary,” she finally says.
“I’m here to talk, or we don’t have to. Whatever is best for you.”
“I know. It’s why I love you. And I want to talk to you about it.”
I nod, kiss her throat, breathe her in. I can’t believe I’m so lucky to call her my girlfriend, that this beautiful, strong woman loves me. “Did he try…” I let the words hang in the air, both of us knowing what I mean. “Shit. Do you need to go to the hospital for anything? I didn’t even think about that. We have a doctor in Boston who—”
“Shh. I’m fine. He didn’t try that. I don’t think he even cared about anything sexual with me. He just thinks he’s better than us. He hates women. Hates me. He felt like I owed him something, so he didn’t like that I’d told him I wasn’t interested. I think…I think he just wanted me to suffer.”
“I’m so fucking sorry. God, I want to kill him myself.”
We’re both quiet for a moment, making me realize what I said and what it means. There’s no doubt in my mind she already knew. She understood what the conversation tonight meant and what she’d basically given them permission to do.
“Will they really kill him?” Zuri asks after a moment.
“Yes, which means he can never try to hurt anyone again.”
“What if they get into trouble?” She sits up in bed. “Oh my God. What ifIget into trouble? I was seen with him. I fought him. There has to be evidence of me and—” Zuri’s breathing speeds up.
I sit up, too, so I’m facing her. “Shh, baby. It’ll be okay. We’ll make it okay. Dean will take care of the video… We already blackmail the dean. We have people to clean up messes like this and dirty cops who do what we need them to do. Everything will be okay. I promise.”
I press my forehead to hers, each of us breathing in each other’s air.
“Tonight wasn’t about you,” she finally says, after what feels like a hundred years.
“What do you mean?”
“You were worried about me being with you. What could happen to me because of your family, and all I know is how your family protected me. Curtis came after me because he’s an incel, a toxic man who couldn’t handle being told no. He didn’t like me being with a woman, but he wouldn’t have liked me with any woman. It didn’t have to be you. There’s danger everywhere, all the time, Ash. Every time either of us walks out the door or, hell, wakes up in the morning, anything can happen. And all I can think about is how I want to spend every moment I can with you, no matter how long we get, no matter what the consequences are, or who your family is. I knew it before, and I know it even more now.”
I’d said something similar to Ollie not that long ago. It’s funny how easy it is to give advice to others, but we don’t see the truth ourselves. My eyes well with tears as I reach up and grab her face.
We kiss slowly, like we have all the time in the world, and hell, maybe we do. We kiss like nothing else matters except the two of us, kiss like we need each other’s mouths for air. Shecould have died tonight. I could have lost her, but she’s here, and she’s shown me over and over for weeks that she’s chosen me.
Chosen us.
Zuri pulls me down until we’re each on our sides, facing each other. “We’ll always have each other’s backs.”
“Yes,” I answer. I’m devoted to her, and I know how devoted she is to me, too. “Will you come home to Boston with me this weekend? I’d like you to meet my mom, and hopefully Conan and Rian too, but I can’t promise that.”
Her smile lights up the room. “I’d like that.”
“Good. It’s a date.” Zuri’s in our world now, my world, her world, and as imperfect and messy as our lives are, I know Zuri and I will be great together, that we’ll do good things, put good into the world, and we’ll love each other so fucking well.
“I don’t know if I can sleep tonight. I’m afraid I’ll close my eyes and see him.”
