Cash gaped at him. “What?”
He hadn’t really suggested that, had he?
“Why would I go to her?”
“To reply to the text message, man,” Ralen said to him. “If you can’t do it via text, then go to her. Tell her in person.”
“What? Fly all the way to Las Vegas and back in a day just to give her a reply to a text message?”
“I mean, you could stay overnight.”
“But what would be the point? Yeah, I could reply to her, but it’s not like I’m ever going to see her again. It’s not like we are going to be something together. So wouldn’t flying down to see her be excessive? Maybe even send the wrong message?”
“Send the wrong message? Are you fucking kidding me?” Ralen asked. “What kind of message do you want to send? That girl said that she felt safe with you when she wasn’t used to feeling safe. Ever. Remember the girl we found under the tarp, shaking and silent with those big scared eyes?”
“Of course I do. It wasn’t that long ago we found her.”
“Right. And remember the girl we made squishies with? The way she giggled at all our jokes? The way she called you Daddy.”
Cash clenched his fists. What the fuck was Ralen getting at? Of course he remembered that.
“Yeah, of course I do.”
“And you feel nothing for her? Nothing in return?”
“Of course I feel something for her, Ralen. But that doesn’t matter.”
“Why not?” Ralen asked.
Cash threw his hands up into the air. “Because nothing can ever come of it.”
“Why not?”
“Dude, are you like a broken record at the moment? Because we can’t be together, because she lives in a different city, in a different state. Because I’m stuck here guarding Bonnie. Because I signed my life over to Dante years ago when I thought my family was in danger. There’s a part of me now that wonders if they even were. My life isn’t my own.”
“So what? You’re allowed to fall in love with someone. Dante isn’t going to stop you from doing that.”
“Yeah, but he is going to stop me from leaving Billings when he wants me here.”
“So she moves here. Big deal.”
“It is a big deal for Addie. That would mean moving away from her sisters. That’s where her stuff is. She feels better when she’s in a comfortable environment.”
“She sure seemed happy enough when she was making squishies with us.”
Cash opened his mouth to argue with Ralen, and then he realized he was right. She actually had seemed pretty at ease around him once they’d gotten past a few things. Was it just because she’d been in Little headspace? But no, he didn’t think it was.
Cash shook his head. “This is all crazy. You’re suggesting that I go down to Las Vegas, reply to her text in person, and somehow convince her to move back with me? We barely know each other. We don’t even know if we really have feelings for each other.”
“I can tell you right now that that girl has feelings for you. I guess it’s you that’s got to decide whether you have feelings for her. And if you don’t, then I think you’re right, the best thing you could do is just let that message go. I mean, it probably would have been nice to say, ‘Nice to meet you, too. Hope you’re doing well.’ Something like that but if you don’t have feelings for her, then lose her number. Forget she ever existed. Because someone like Addie, she needs someone permanent. She needs someone who is willing to go all the way, who will be one hundred percent in.”
Cash knew that. That was his fucking point. That was the reason why he wasn’t going to chase after her. Because she certainly deserved more than him, more than he could offer.
“But if you do have real feelings for her, and I think you do, because I’ve never seen you care this much about how you should reply to someone. If you do have those sorts of feelings for her, then you should fight for her. You should do whatever you have to do in order to ensure that she is in your life permanently. Just because you signed allegiance to Dante, didn’t mean you signed over your life to him. We might have to stay here in Billings and look after Bonnie, but there are worse things we could have to do. And if she feels as much for you as I think she does, I’m pretty sure she’d move here in a flash.”
“I’d always be torn, though, wouldn’t I? Between her and Bonnie, or whatever other assignment Dante gave us. And what if I put her in danger by association? Things have been pretty safe for us lately, but that doesn’t mean it always will be.”
“Isn’t that just life, though? You’re always torn, aren’t you?” Ralen pointed out. “Between family members and your partner, between work and a social life. You just have to find a balance. And we can keep her out of this life. If you tell Dante that you want this girl, that you need her in your life, he won’t stand in your way. I can guarantee he wouldn’t give you any unsafeassignments. And Bonnie likes her. Anything Bonnie cares about, Dante cares about by default. So he’s going to ensure that Addie is kept safe.”
