“Me either,” Hudson laughs.
“But the two of you. Aren’t you?—"
“Yes,” I admit. “After everything you shared, is it okay if I open up, too?”
She nods her head in agreement.
“Some of what I’m about to share, not even Hudson knows,” I begin. “I was about sixteen or seventeen when I was told I’d be marrying Ciara Donovan at twenty-one. Our fathers wanted an alliance and the marriage was set. I knew it was my future beforeI knew it was Ciara. Because of that, I never really…explored,” I admit shyly. “Sexually.”
“Wait, what?” Pippa asks.
“I’m not a virgin,” I say with a deep chuckle, “but I promise you’re both way more experienced than me.”
“How is that possible? Have you seen yourself?” Pippa asks.
“Seriously,” Hudson adds.
“Hudson and Eva can attest I was a shy kid. I didn’t see the point in dating. If I’m being honest, I didn’t have a crazy sex drive. I know that’s odd for young men, and it always made me feel…different.”
Hudson grabs my hand.
“Guys in high school were always talking about how horny they were. And I had this best friend who wasverysexually free.” I laugh looking at him. “I felt the complete opposite. I assumed when I got married, I’d figure it out, but then that blew up. Then my parents died. Then I had to keep my sister safe and take over the business, and I’ll be honest: sex and relationships have never been a priority.”
“That makes a lot of sense,” Pippa says.
“It’s not that I never thought about Hudson physically when we were growing up—I did—but you weren’t an option for me,” I say, looking at him. “No one was, so what was the point?”
“Yeah, I felt that way, too,” he admits.
“Pippa, the night I saw you, you awakened something in me. I knew I shouldn’t have approached you at that bar, but I couldn't help myself.”
“She has that effect,” Hudson says wistfully.
“I know it feels like Hudson and I have all this history,” I continue, “and we do, but none of it had ever been romantic or sexual before you. And if you hadn’t stormed into my life, I don’t know if it ever would have been.”
“Now that you realize your feelings for each other, why would you want me to complicate that?” she asks earnestly.
“What you call complicated, I call feeling alive for the first time in my life. I don’t simply want you—I need you.” I caress her face. I move my other hand to Hudson’s face. “And I need him.”
They both sigh.
“I hated pushing you away, Pippa. I really did. It was stupid. I was scared. I can’t explain this feeling. But I know I want to give this a shot. Tell me we can give this a shot.”
“Fuck yeah,” Hudson says.
Pippa and I laugh. Then, she looks at me and says, “I’d really like to try. As long as none of us know what we’re doing, it should work out, right?” She smiles.
I laugh. “Let’s mess it all up together.”
“I like that,” she says.
“Me, too,” Hudson adds.
“We don’t have to do anything, but would you both like to stay the night? I need to know you’re both okay.”
They agree. By the time we finally drift toward the bedroom, the edge has worn off. The confessions are done, hard truths laid bare. What’s left feels lighter—fragile, maybe, but real.
Getting ready for bed is strangely easy.
