She told me to let it go, but I couldn’t. I don’t care what her excuses were, Cara didn’t deserve that, and I was going to let Mackenzie know just how I felt about it, even if I knew I didn’t have the right to.
None of it was real. Our relationship was fake. Anything she felt for me was fake, but my feelings were very much real. Yeah, we’ve kissed, but I knew she’d say it was a mistake. Everything I felt for her was real and raw and I wasn’t going to let anyone hurt her in any way, no matter what happened between us.
Mackenzie looked at Fallon and Cara before looking back at me and wincing. “I have, yes. I’ve apologized so many times since that night. I was young and stupid, and I know that’s not an excuse. Things were complicated between us back then, and if I could’ve redone the whole thing differently, I would’ve. Neither of them deserved to be treated the way I had treated them.”
“You’ve got that right. And being young is not an excuse for being a dick. I’m surprised you guys are still friends, honestly. I would’ve had a different reaction.”
“Vera.” Cara’s tone was demanding and angry.
“No, it’s okay, Cara.”
Fallon grabbed Mackenzie’s hand on the table, and Mackenzie squeezed it and kissed her wife on the cheek before turning back to us. “Honestly, so am I. I know it’s not an excuse, but it’s the truth. Things should’ve gone a different way after that night, but all I can do is thank whoever is willing to listen that it didn’t. I’ve been lucky enough to have a very compassionate wife and friend in my life. Both of our women are some of the most genuinely caring and understanding people I’ve met.”
Before I could say anything more, Cara grabbed my hand and squeezed it firmly before clearing her throat. “The past is in the past and I love you both. If you’ll excuse me, I think I’m going to head upstairs. I don’t think the eggs are sitting right with me. Baby, will you join me?” Cara asked with her hand on my wrist, her hold telling me it wasn’t a question.
I smiled. “Of course. I guess we’ll see you guys for dinner?” I asked.
Mackenzie frowned and nodded. “Of course. Feel better, Cara. And Vera, I’d really like it if we could start over? I hate the impression I’ve left on you.”
I just looked at her before turning my attention to Fallon. “Enjoy the rest of your breakfast.”
The elevator ride was the longest and quietest ride we’ve taken. It felt like it stretched on for hours. Cara barely looked at me until we got to the room.
“Okay… I’m sensing you’re upset?”
She whirled around. “Upset? You think I’m upset? Oh, Vera, how wrong you are. I am livid! What the fuck was that? I told you to let it go!”
“I know, and I’m sorry. I tried, but I don’t know, I can’t. I just get protective every time we’re around her. I needed to hear her excuses for myself.”
“Why?”
“Why? Because I like you, Cara, which you already know. I like you and I don’t like how she treated you. You deserve so much better and I know it was a long time ago, and I know we aren’t anything to each other, and I know this is all just a show we’re putting on, but my feelings are real, and I’m angry. I know I don’t have a right to be, but I am and I can’t help that.”
She took a deep breath and walked over to where I stood leaning against the desk. “My feelings are real, too. I can’t tell you what it means to me, that you want to defend my honor, but please apologize to her.”
“Cara, I?—”
“Please, Vera. Fallon and Mackenzie are my friends and I care about them a lot. I don’t want anyone not getting along over something that happened years ago and has since been forgotten. Please, go apologize.”
I groaned. When she made that face, I’d give her anything she wanted. “For you, princesa? Anything. I’ll go make nice. But I’ll need a kiss for good luck.”
I puckered my lips in a show, but she put her hand up instead. “Apologize first, then we’ll talk about your reward.”
I groaned and turned to go find Mackenzie.
Luckily, she happened to be at the first place I checked. She slowly opened the door to her room with a skeptical look. “Vera? Uh, to what do I owe the pleasure?”
I gave her a half smile, to show I came in peace. “I just wanted to talk. Can I come in?”
She looked inside and back to me. “Fallon’s not here. She’s with Drea, so?—”
I rolled my eyes. “I’m not going to hurt you, Mackenzie. I wanted to apologize.”
“Oh. Okay, come in.” She opened the door wider and let me pass.
I turned around and she shut the door, but didn’t come further into the room. I rolled my eyes. “Have you been hit before? You’re in a safe space, I just wanted to apologize.” I raised my hands in surrender. I was actually concerned for her, if she was really scared.
In my head, it sounded like a good thing, like she knew if she hurt Cara I’d have a problem, but in reality, I didn’t want anyone to be scared of me.
