When we parted, I fixed the smear of lipstick on her lips. “It’s always the time for flirting if I’m around you, darling. Relax, I didn’t tell her we had sex. If I did, we’d be home a lot sooner so we could re-enact that night. I just told her about how the mistletoe kiss turned into something more, and how maybe it was always meant to. That’s all.”
It could’ve been the moonlight, but I almost thought I saw a little shimmer in her eyes. Before I could think more about it, it was gone and she was starting the car.
“Let’s go home.”
I wanted to tell her I was already there, in that car, with her looking at me like I meant something to her. I didn’t. Instead, I smiled and nodded. “Home.”
Chapter Thirty-Nine
KAIA
We had stopped for hot chocolate on the way home from our walk with Duke,and I had just finished my cup when Daisy started talking about his training. She was going on about how excited she was for him and how well he was doing with it, and I couldn’t stop smiling.
“Laurie said with the way he’s progressing, he should be ready to go?—”
“I love you.”
She stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and blinked at me, lowering her hands slowly and placing them at her sides.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt you. What were you saying?” I asked, completely acting like I hadn’t just admitted that.
WhyhadI just admitted that? She was in the middle of a conversation, and this wasn’t the time or the place to say something like that. I tried to pick up a reading on her face, but I was coming up blank. I couldn’t tell how she was feeling, and it was setting me more and more on edge. Had I just made a monumental mistake?
“What?” She looked at me, confusion written across her face.
“You were talking and I just cut you off. I’m sorry. Keep going. Laurie said what?”
She just stared at me. “I… but… You love me?”
Oh, if only she knew just how much. I didn’t know a lot of things in this world. I didn’t know every single country that existed or even where they were. I didn’t know every language or religion. I didn’t know anything about cars. But the one thing I did know was that I loved Daisy with everything I had.
“I do. This isn’t really how I wanted to tell you, but you just looked so beautiful in the moonlight, I couldn’t help myself. Daisy, I love you. I’ve been in love with you for a long time. I don’t expect you to say itback or anything. I just wanted you to know.” I shrugged like we were having a casual conversation and my heart wasn’t trying to leap out of my body.
I never expected her to say it back, but I at least expected a smile or something. Instead, she only stared. And stared. And kept staring at me.
“Daisy?”
“Hang on. You’ve been in love with me? For how long?”
“A while. It doesn’t really matter. I’m sorry, are you upset about it? I thought you’d be happy. What we’ve been doing, I thought it meant something to you. Did I get it wrong?”
I was so embarrassed. I just confessed my feelings, and she wasn’t saying it back. She didn’t even seem happy about it. She almost seemed mad? That didn’t make sense. Who would be mad about someone being in love with them?
“It kind of does matter. How long is a while, Kaia? A few weeks? I’m not upset about it, and you do mean something to me, but I… How long?”
But? I meant something to her, but. That was never a good thing to hear. The night wasn’t going at all how I’d hoped it would, and I was not only heartbroken about it, but I was becoming a little irritated at her reaction.
“Daisy, please don’t ask me that, okay? Listen, just forget I said anything. We can go back home and watch a movie or something and forget that the fact that I love you seems to upset you.”
“Damnit, Kaia. How long?”
I groaned, tears threatening to spill out. “Since we first met, okay? The first time you looked at me and smiled. That’s how long.”
She blinked. And blinked. And gasped, frowning. “Four fucking years?! You’ve been in love with me for four years and didn’t say anything?”
I shook my head. “Of course not. What would I have said? ‘Oh, hey, bestie. Yeah, my dad’s sick but I want my heart broken more so I’m in love with you, but I know you don’t feel the same way so it’s okay. I just wanted to tell you. Let’s go get pizza.’ I’m sorry, Daisy. I shouldn’t have said anything. If you’re not ready, it’s really okay. I just wanted to be honest with you.”
She nodded slowly. “Thank you for your honesty. Let’s go home.”
